Suddenly, I'm back at Gabbie's house. Lying in a bed I've woken up in countless times, I turn over to see my best friend resting beside me. Everything is normal. But it's not. She's not real. But, she looks real. She's still sleeping, but just the presence of her makes my heart all warm and gushy. After a few moments, she turns over as well, stirring from her slumber. She makes me so happy that it hurts to think about. I'm so worried about her. She smiles at me, and I'm just hit with pain. Everything in me hurts from this moment.
Scooting closer to her, I breathe in her scent as I awkwardly wrap my arms around her. My throat feels tight as I try to push away all of the negative emotions. I so desperately wanted this to be real. I so desperately wanted my real world to be the dream. Tears were threatening to spill as I whispered a simple phrase to her that couldn't convey my emotions. "I miss you," I whimpered, trying not to let it all out. I feel her arms wrap a little bit tighter around me, and I feel her soft skin against my bare waist exposed by my cropped sweatshirt.
"I miss you, too, baby," she says, but I can sense bliss in her voice. She's happy at this moment while I'm hurting. We are having completely different experiences with the same situation. Having spent a great deal of time alone these past days, I've imagined every possible outcome, and they're all flooding back. A tear drips down my cheek as she pulls away, leaving me feeling empty. I can still feel the ghost of her skin against mine. She notices the pain on my face, and the joy transfers to concern. Reaching out and grabbing my hand, she tries to comfort me.
"When will you be home?" I ask, trying not to sound childish. She shrugs her shoulders, and I avoid eye contact in an attempt to avoid the pain. She furrows her brow, and I hate myself for ruining this happy moment for her.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's gonna be ok," she says. For one of the first times in my life, I have doubt in her words. I'm not sure I can believe her. I've depended on her for so long. She's the reason I'm the person I am today.
"I need you. Don't leave," I manage to stutter out between tears. My nose has started running at this point, and the emotional hurting I'm feeling has to end. I need to wake up. The pain is too much. Everything is too real. But, I still need her. I don't want her to leave. I don't want to return to reality. I want to just stay in this bed, wrapped in her arms, breathing in the scent of the one person who I can trust with anything.
"I'm not going to. Don't think like that," she responds in a soft tone, pulling me closer to her again. I relax into the embrace, letting my tears stream freely now. I've never needed somebody as much as I need her now.
I wake up from that dream, knowing none of it was real. It just felt so good yet awful at the same time. I felt so connected to her. I realize that real tears are streaming down my face. Embarrassed by the presence of just myself, I quickly wipe them from my cheeks using the heel of my hand. I try to erase the image from my mind and focus on the tasks at hand, but they refuse to flee from my brain.
I glance at the clock and realize I should probably get ready to head to Zane's. He said the hacking was taking longer than expected, but he should be done by this morning. He swore he wouldn't look at any information that he found until we were all there. I'm glad David and I are on better terms. I'm hanging on by a thread in all of my other relationships. I really can't afford to lose the only one keeping me sane. I know he means well. I'm just wary of venting to him yet.
I texted him and asked if he wanted to head over soon. While waiting for an answer, I walked to the bathroom and started to brush my teeth. While scrubbing with the bristles, I received a text back. He said he'd be there to pick me up in ten. Throwing my hair up into a messy bun, I leave the bathroom without using any makeup. I have zero patience for that today. Grabbing a banana off the counter, I run back upstairs to pull on a cleaner pair of sweatpants-- but still sweatpants.
YOU ARE READING
She's Gone
Fanfic"'David, Gabbie can't be next,' I said, my voice breaking. He pulled me into his chest, and I broke down sobbing. 'She's not safe,' I wailed. He stroked my hair, knowing there was nothing he could say."
