𝐩𝐚𝐥𝗺𝐬 • fillie

a d v i c e

~🌺~
Palms || Fillie
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It's been a whole week since I last saw Finn Wolfhard's frog-like, perfectly freckles face. I guess he understood I needed space.

The only other time we'd cross paths is during another of our shared classes. Yet, no form of eye contact or speech was ever made, only the feeling of sadness and want seemed to surface.

I want him back.
I need him back.
He's my soulmate.

And he never belonged to me.
But I belonged to him-
I belong with him.

Just a week ago we were complete strangers and now I know I can't live without him. How pathetic.

I know I needed a break, but I can't handle being apart from him.

And not only is the future love of my life distancing away from me, the accused 'bouncer' and I have been heavily bonding the past week.

To be completely honest, even if Wyatt is me and Finn's bouncer, why should that change the simple fact that I like hanging out with him? For all I know, Finn could be the fucking bouncer;
Or me!

Me and Wyatt are like glued at the hip. And I'm completely unable to believe he has knowledge of what he's doing and is purposely trying to stand between me and Finn just for the fun of it.
He's a nice guy and I don't care if he'll interfere with my future, I'm not living that yet. I've still got a whole lifetime ahead of me.

Oh dear God!
My life's just a fucking mess.

That's exactly why, on this fine Saturday, I'm going to visit Sadie and get formally welcomed into the home that not only belongs to not only my best friend, but my worst enemy- everyone's worst enemy.

Dressed in my denim skinny jeans and 'P!ATD' tee, I quickly slipped on my black and white Vans and headed for the kitchen.

"Hey Noah!" I smile energetically, yet sadly for only tomorrow he's leaving, but today him and Romeo are having a casual date and I couldn't be more excited.
"Oh, hey Millster!" He gushed, a smile just as wide being adorned.

Even though he'd have to leave us tomorrow, we'll see him soon. And that's not only because we're invited to his latest movie premiere, but the fact Romeo will be here too.
He has to come back.

"I'm off. When are you going to meet Romeo, Juliet?" I stifled a laugh, only teasing him.
"Okay, but it's Noah and around 2." He stated, his energetic mood persistent nonetheless.
"Well, Bye!" I wave, my British accent flourishing as I firmly close the door.

•🌺•

"Hey, Sades! Thanks for having me." I gush as she welcomes me in.
"No prob, Millster. I was hella bored today." She smiled as she lead us through her gargantuan mansion, to her room that I'm guessing is just as large.
I smile warmly, taking an awestruck glance around as we passed trinkets scattered upon the tables drawers that were lined against the spacious creme painted hallways.
"It's quite a walk." She looked behind at me, smiling apologetically.
"I've got all the time." I reassuringly smiled back.

After finally reaching Sadie's room, we both collapsed onto her queen sized bed. I took a steady look around her large room and there were no signs of anything remotely posh or fancy, like the rest of her home.

Her bed covers were simple maroon stripes, the kind you'd find at target; her lightbulb had a simple creme colour, not a full blown chandelier; her walls had posters of our shared favourite bands, not fashion magazine cutouts, like Iris'; her room wasn't clean, piles of her clothes were scattered around and a wall was used to display all sorts of skateboards, some were even signed.

I liked her room the most.

"So," Sadie broke the silence, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.
"So..." I reply, doing the same.
"How are things?" She asked, giving me a smile.
"With what, exactly?" I respond, a little confused.
"Life, school... love." She sighed dreamily at that final statement.
"So I see things with Caleb are working out well." I tease.

She took a long admirable look, "They really are Millie." She gushed.
"OMG! My best friend has a boyfriend! My best friend has a boyfriend!" I chanted, jumping happily on her bed.

After finally calming down and letting our breathing slow down to the back of the rest of our bodies, we instantly erupted in laughter.

"T-that w-as the f-f-fun-iest!" Sadie admitted, her slowing giggles interfering with her sentence.
"I k-n-ow!" Mine doing the same.
"So, about Caleb, he was so sweet the other day." She gushed. I knew exactly where this conversation was headed.

Even though I'd love to hear all about how special the fated pairings are, it's what they do. I know I could've had something like that with Finn but I chose no one.

I chose myself.

That was probably the worst decision I've ever made. Because, by picking myself, I chose Finn.

I chose Finn.
I chose Finn!

"Hey, Sades! I know we just got here but I've really got to go, I hope you'll understand," I smile apologetically.
"I get it." She smiled understandingly, "Go get Finn!" She cheered.
"How'd you know?!" I gasp in confusion, slowly standing up.
"You kept on repeating, 'I choose Finn! I choose Finn!'." She began to laugh, in complete hysterics, hitting the bed at an attempt to calm herself down.
However, I just stood there in complete and utter silence, my month hanging wide open in embarrassment.
"What are you still doing here? Go! Go! Go!" She yelled in exitement.

So I left.

Took me around 15 minuites to leave her house but I got there. And after the extravagant 15 minuites and help of the live-in Chef, I finally found the front door.

I chose Finn.

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Well this update is long overdue, I'm just dealing with a lot right now and I'd really like to say it's because of school and the stress, but it's worse.

I'm just really sorry.

But I hope you liked the new update!

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