The second book of Sarah Jane Wood. It follows her struggles with her mother and more into her and Pony's relationship. *Will include chapters into the future of the gang.
"What makes you think I can believe you Vera?!" I scream. "You've told me many of times that you'd stop drinkin' and we'd get away from Dad. How many times were my hopes up just to be shattered again by your lies?!" Vera invited me over to talk to me. She'd said that she's not drinking anymore, which I was skeptical of. It doesn't matter anyway, I just found out she lied from the empty beer bottles she hid.
"Sarah I'm sorry."
"No your not." I say and laugh a little. "And to think that you were any different than the woman I ran away from six years ago. The woman who forced me to live IN A VAN for my childhood and shower IN MY FREAKIN' SCHOOL. For cryin' out loud, did you ever even care about me?"
"I..." She started.
I cut her off. "No you didn't. You didn't. It's just a fact. And I was startin' to think that you actually cared for me, you liked my boyfriend and my friends. I cried and cried for you, I was so scared. Eight years old, having to buy everythin' yourself. Havin' to figure out what my period is and what bra to get! You don't understand that I needed a mother and you weren't there. That's what hurts me the most. Not the lies or the beatin's, the not carin'. And it's still the same scenario. You can take me wherever your goin' over my dead body."
I storm out of Vera's motel room. I start to sprint back to my RV, tears streaming down my face like a hose. I was so hurt, and I didn't realize the strain it put on me. When I first moved out, I couldn't let anyone into my life. The first person, after a little less than five years, was Ponyboy. I decide to talk to him, knowing only he and Soda could make me feel better.
-
When I get to the Curtis house, the moon lit my path and I figured it was around midnight. Walking through the door, I almost stepped on the head of Two-Bit, on the floor drunk. The television was on, Mickey playing. Steve and Soda sat playing cards on the coffee table.
"What's wrong?" Soda asks, noticing my watering eyes. He springs up from his spot on the floor and engulfs me in a hug.
"Where's Pony?" I ask him. I glance over at Steve looking worriedly at me. Recently, Steve and I have been getting along real good. Our relationship strengthened after Johnny and Dally.
"He's sleepin' I think." Soda answered, "He just went in around five minutes ago so he's still up readin'."
"Thanks." I say and get out of the hug. I walk to Pony and Soda's room and open the door to find Pony reading in his bed. He's wearing a white t-shirt and his hair is wet and greaseless.
"What's wrong?" Pony asks. I stand still in the doorway, not moving. "Come here."
I get on the bed next to me while Pony cuddles me. We sat there, me crying into his shirt for a few minutes before I really get to talking. I tell him the whole argument, getting madder and madder when I hear each word.
"I'm sorry your going through this." He says. 'I don't think he know what else to say,' I thought.
"And the sad part is is that I can't even keep it together when I'm with her. I don't want to shed a single tear for that woman, but I do. Every argument, every bad encounter. I don't know what's wrong with me." I explain.
"There's nothin' wrong with you Sarah. I understand not wantin' to get upset with her, but she is your mother and she did hurt you. Now, I don't ever want to see you hurtin', but you gotta face her and let her know what's really goin' on." He kisses the top of my head.
'Pony has a point.' I thought. "Yeah. Speakin' of hurt, I finished my tattoo yesterday." I pulled up my shirt to reveal the tattoo I got. It was very intricate, the stem of the tree covering my scar.
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He feels down my back, his fingers following the trunk. I shiver a little, his touch cold. "This is amazin'"
"I know, I'm really happy how it turned out." I say and push my shirt back down.
We go back to cuddling, but now sitting up, backs on the wall behind his bed. I turn my head into his hair, the smell of bleach faintly fills my nostrils. I remember the fond memories of Johnny and Dally, that terrible week too. I then realize, I've been through so much in my lifetime. If I'm going to let one woman, even if it is my mother, hurt me or break me, your wrong.
