Random Shit

[59] Life's a Bitch

So, life's a bitch and then you die. My mom has told me that since I was young and I believe it's true. I am going through the bitchiest time in my life now with not as much drama as I had before, but depression, liars, con artists of the sorts, denial, gender issues, tests, homework, writing, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow morning dead. I have done enough shit in the world to make a slight difference in a few hearts.

But I just can't take this shit anymore. I am not one of those people though to vent all their problems, because if I was doing that I would tell you exactly what is going on. I am just..writing to get a bit of the weight on my chest lifted. I can't do that anymore since my grandma died.

That's another thing, is that she will not be here to see me graduate a school and move a level higher. Most people would give me that bull shit like, "She's watching over you." But she's not here with me for support. It hurts like a swarm of bees is stinging my heart and hornets have logged into my throat.

And my girlfriend I can tell is probably mad as hell at me and I want to cry for that because I am an insecure person deep down and that person down there in me is scared of her breaking up with me over a petty dispute.

But I am a tough guy, and I guess I'll get through it. Even if tonight I am crying myself to sleep for the last time and will disease during the night. I'm strong enough to act like a man to someone's face and be straight forward, telling it like it is.