The Beginning Of My End.

Chapter 7

Val's POV.

         Dear Diary , 

       Today was okay till something horrible happened. I was crying hard .. alone in my room but not completely alone. my demon was with me  .

     My brother wasn't home yet so I started to cut , I was trying my best not to 'cause I know my brother will be here soon and I don't want him to be mad at me , but I couldn't resist I was cutting.. deep.. I was cutting very deep..

Till I heard my door open . I turned around slowly with tears in my eyes to see who it was

And it was my brother .. I think he heard me moaning from pain .

I looked into his eyes , I was never afraid as I am now cause all I saw in his eyes was a serious look ,  he was looking at my wrists .. he looked very angry and very like..

        I expected him to be . His old caring self and try to comfort me or hug or even tell me something that could make me feel better but of course that did'nt happen .

 Few minutes later , after staring at each other without saying a word he asked me "why ? "

But I didn't answer .. he came closer and I felt even more scared . I thought for a second that this is the end of the world .

" They are not here okay ? " he said calmly looking at me in the eyes , like I don't already know that , But I really see my parents everyday but he doesn't believe me .. he thinks that I'm crazy , but how can't he? I really see them.. they even talk to me , I see them in my dreams , I see them in every corner of this house , I see them everywhere  .

" And what are you doing here ?? "  he said " You cut ? " he continued .

" I'm an angel , M-mum ..." I stopped and closed my eyes while tears are escaping my eyes  " Mum always told me that , the people who has those marks are angels " I said smiling weakly at the memory .

I don't know whats wrong with him .. He changed since he thought they are dead but they aren't , they Will always live in my heart  .

"Angel ! " he said , laughing and I couldn't help but cry even harder .

" Fuck off Zoe . " he took the razor from my hand  and went out from my room , slamming the door hard behind him , I kinda felt relieved cause I thought he was going to kick me out .. I've always been afraid that this day would ever come . The day that he would see me cutting and It did happen .

I can't believe that my brother didn't comfort me or try to make things better , I'm supposed to be his little sister that he'll protect and love and always be there for her and always hold her when she feels down but I think that's not going to happen again , I guess he does'nt care anymore . 

          I stopped reading her diary cause I couldn't help the tears from rolling down my cheeks ...

How could her brother be so harsh on her ? , isn't her depression enough ? , why is he so hard on her ? , he was supposed to hug her and tell her that everything will be alright , she's his little sister , if his parents were still alive , they would be very disappointed of how he treated his little sister but in another way I think he loves her , if he doesn't , he would leave her to continue her cutting but instead he took the razor with him so she could stop , I think part of him really cares about Zoella but he doens't show it , Clearly !

        The second he left the room I stayed completely still for like 10 minutes , without doing anything , just staring at ... nothing . but I stopped crying , I think I don't have any more tears left , I guess because I felt empty ,  he took my heart out and crashed it in his hands .