SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE

Rants

-bookneeds is online-

bookneeds: I can believe it, we've been friends for ages and he just treats me like this. Honestly he's left me hanging for the past month, ignoring my dms, skype calls and not being able to talk in person. But he shouldn't do this just cuz of su min, she's fine let her live her life, I'm not mad at her. And Vernons ignoring Soonyoung too!??!? Why??!?? Idk my minds a mess, my thoughts jump from Vernon to Soonyoung to Mingyu to other peopl...

bookneeds: Vernon built me up, but then my support left me when I was still unstable and now I can't function properly. I told myself it wouldn't affect me but it hurts too much. Ugh I failed myself.

bookneeds: don't fall in love, my one rule, I broke that rule. Everyone's telling me to forget abt him but I can't, after five years... heh that's gonna take a while. Others are telling me to talk to him, I can't for some reason. We're not the type to talk seriously.

bookneeds: I still love him, I took me forever to realize this, for me to get him. Now he's gone, he's with su min. Sigh. Why me.

bookneeds: it's just all this time he said "i love you" and it seemed so genuine, no one had ever said these words to me before. when he said i was pretty, after a day of people calling me ugly. It boosted my self esteem so much. He was the nicest person to me on this earth, and then all of a sudden it ended, without warning. I knew something was wrong, I thought of the worse. I thought there was someone else, I thought I wasn't important anymore. All my friends told me I was wrong, it was Hansol Vernon Chwe how could he ever stop liking a person like Jeon Wonwoo, all my negative thoughts went away

bookneeds: and then one day at practice a month later, Soonyoung and Jihoon were talking abt how vernons friend told them something but they wouldn't tell me. I started thinking negative again, it affected the way I performed and practiced. Everyone noticed, even the manager got worried.

bookneeds: I cried three times that night, once during practice, the way home and before bed, even though I didn't know for sure, I still had a clue and it hurt. Soonyoung finally decided to tell me the truth.

bookneeds: hansol would never do this. And of all people he's ignoring Soonyoung?!?!? I'm so confused, but I still really like him. I think. I don't really know, ever since a month ago (when they apparently started dating with me unknowing) my feelings have been bouncing around between three different guys. Life's so confusing, I wish I could just forget about all of this but I cant

bookneeds: and now i dont think he even cares abt me. Those feelings left him and it hurts

bookneeds: I'm sorry I used this for venting, I needed to get some stuff off my chest. I'll go now bye guys

-bookneeds is offline-

Guys I'm rlly sorry for not updating and for making all my shit so depressing. It just hurts too much to say that a person who cares for me so much went behind my back with another girl. We weren't even dating u get it, but honestly he stopped talking to me and that's why it hurts. He was my best friend and he abandoned me. I'll be fine I guess, my Soonyoung and Jihoon are trying to help me out. Oh btw Soonyoung, Vernon, Mingyu and Jihoon are based off of real ppl if ya didn't get the memo yet. I'm sorry I'm talking to much bye bubs love ya