ʳᵒᵒᵐᵐᵃᵗᵉˢ ( jack gilinsky )

8 - trust issues

song mood for this chapter-
untitled - rex orange county

mia's pov

i walk in to the sound of a machine gun being fired and the dark room being lit up by a screen. jack's on the couch with a bag of chips on his lap and a controller in his hand.

"you wanted to talk?" i go up to him, crossing my arms.

"yeah! lemme finish this round of fortnite, first."  his eyes are glued to the screen.

i roll my eyes and walk towards my room.

"mia, wait." i hear the xbox being turned off so i stop in my tracks.

i feel his arm touch my shoulder and turn me around. i look at the ground, with my arms still folded.

"hey, look at me." he uses his hand to lift my chin up.

i divert my gaze to him. he looks like a sad puppy.

he leads me to his room and we sit on his bed. i play with my hands as i wait for him to speak.

"you do." he blurts.

"...what?"

"you do, mean something to me." he says. my heart begins to race.

"then why did you—"

"i don't like commitment. all commitment has ever done is fuck me over." he interrupts me.

i look at him, "what do you mean?"

"last year, i was dating this girl." he looks at the ground.

"what's her name?" i ask.

"sophia." he bites his lip. "i remember when i met her. she was perfect. everything i've ever wanted in a girl. she was smart, gorgeous, kind, funny. i adored her." he says. "i told you that i had a best friend back in omaha right?"

"yeah, 'jack'. but you called him johnson because you guys had the same name and it was confusing." i remember him telling me something about a johnson.

"i've known him since the first day of kindergarten. i stopped talking to him right before i moved to los angeles for college, though."

i stay quiet and listen to him.

"me, sophia, and johnson were basically a squad. we hung out almost everyday. we partied together, got high together, drunk together. my life was so good, i had a best friend and girl friend that loved me." he continues.

"so fast forward to high school graduation day in may. my birthday was coincidently the same day so i threw a party at my house that night. it was my 18th birthday so i had to make it huge you know? i invited everyone. i also knew sam and camden by then, too." he says.

"so, mid-party. i was out by the pool. my other friends were about to sing happy birthday to me but i couldn't find johnson and sophia and i wanted them to be there with me. so i go searching for them."

i can see where this is going. he stops talking for a few seconds. i place my hand on his jaw to reassure him.

"you can tell me, jack." i say, turning his head to me.

his face softens and he nods.

"i found them in my room. they were... together. and she was all over him and-" jack starts to get all tense again so i stop him. i reach over and hold his hand, laying it in my lap. it catches him off guard but he gives it a tight squeeze.

i couldn't imagine going through that. someone you love cheating on you with your best friend. two people that you trust the most. i would fucking flip out if that happened to me.

"i'm sorry for making you upset, mia. i'm just... scared of starting something." he says.

he's been hurt before, and he doesn't want to get hurt again. i get it.

"it's okay." i play with the rings on his fingers. "i don't think it's a good idea if we started something anyway."

he sucks in a breath then nods at me. "i guess i'm not ready for that either."

i give him a small smile and we sit there in silence for a minute.

"well, that's the end of our funny business." i say.

"funny business?" he raises his brow.

"yeah. no more messing with me or flirting with me. we're strictly roommates now."

"i love messing and flirting with you though." he pouts.

"sucks to suck, bitch."

"ima miss you mia." he says.

"why are you acting like i'm dying." i scoff.

he laughs, then looks at me. "so we're good?"

i nod and give him a little smirk.

"one last kiss?" he puckers his lips at me and closes his eyes.

"i think i've kissed enough boys today." i shove him back.

"um, who else have you been kissing that isn't me?"

"i don't kiss and tell, gilinsky."

"i'm kind of jealous." he pouts.

i kiss my hand and slap his cheek and he just gasps.

"goodnight." i laugh.

"night, babycakes."

"hey." i scold.

i go back to my room and lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

for some reason i feel sad. i feel like there's knot in my throat.

i tried to act like i don't care but i do.

the past two days have been so emotionally draining.

maybe this is a good thing.

jack's pov

mia leaves me alone in my room and i miss her already.

she can light up my mood without even trying.

this is a good thing.

i don't want to be in a relationship with her because i know that there will be other guys out there that are better than me.

i'm scared i'm going to give her my everything and that's not going to be enough.

she would leave me for them.

just like how sophia left me for jack.

_