Love is a Commitment (Taglish)

I love you.

Sa mga nalaman ko ngayon, I just want to run and hide. I don't know how to react upon everything . I can only determine one of the many feelings that I can feel right now: I'm Confused.

I need to relax. Wala naman akong bisyo kaya I prefer being alone and think it all over.

"Okay kie, If you'll excuse me I really need to go home. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

" Pwede ka naman dito."  Nakita niyang I really need some alone time. So he nodded.

" Han, wait. Ihahatid na kita, pasok ka muna sa loob. I'll get the keys." At nagmadali na siya papasok.

A lot of things are running through my mind. A lot of what ifs and hatred. I really need some rest. This day is very tiring.

Nasa sala ako. Nakapikit ang mga mata. Nakasandal sa couch na sobrang lambot. Ayaw ko munang makaramdam ng sakit pero parang ayaw akong bitawan nito. I opened my eyes now and roamed my eyes around. Near the couch was a table with some news papers and a book.

I tried reaching towards the book. It's purple but has a few doodles in it. The cover page was cute. Then I opened it. It's his album. The first page was a picture of him when he was a baby. I saw this before at his 'box of treasure' that's what he calls it. Then the next page was when he was three years old then I realized that Nikki looked like him. Well I totally need to ignore that.

The next page was when he was kindergarten. He had a lot of medals and ribbons hanging at his neck. Then the next page was when he was at grade school wearing a RED CROSS T-SHIRT. Yeah alam ko na din yun at president pa siya hanggang high school. And a lot more pages of him and his family. Then the next page was at high school. He had a few pictures of him with awards and trophies. But the next page was with me . In the picture, I was beside him smiling but we have a few inches away from each other.
Inamin niyang ultimate crush niya raw ako nung panahon na yun. The feeling were actually mutual since then but bawal pa kasi bata pa kami.

Then this was when we were at the ball. Then the next page was me and him when he tried to court me, a few writings are underneath. I don't want to read any of it but I got a glimpse of " - Love Keith" at the bottom. I don't care. The next page was... when we were still a couple and almost all the other pages was me or the both of us. Some were on our anniversaries, adventures, travels and etc. The last page was me and Keith. The proposal. I saw more pictures taken from that day . We were happy. Everyone looked so happy.

Kanina ko pa pinipigilan na umiyak. Bakit ko nga ba kasi binuksan yun.

May pages pa na hindi na punan. Then I turned to the next page. I saw a selfie of Kie and Nikki at the mall with wide smiles. The next page was kie and Nikki wearing formal clothes pero parang nakaupo lang sila sa semento. Ano to? Then I remembered that was the dress Nikki was wearing at her birthday. Then may writing na naman sa baba.

" I hope I can spend more time with you and your mom now. I pray to spend eternity with the both of you. Love Daddy."
Sinarado ko na ang libro.

Hindi ko namalayang  nandito na pala siya sa tabi ko.

" Oo alam ko nakakagulat ako. At opo kanina pa ako dito. Bakit parang gulat ka?" Umiyak na ako non. Ayaw ko nito pero ang sakit na. Hinampas ko si kieth ng paulit ulit sa binti. At niyakap niya lang ako. We stayed like that for a few moments.

Bumitaw na ako. " Iuwi mo na ako."

" Love, this is our home."

"Kie, no. This is isn't my home. I can't . I'm confused about all of this."

" Wala ka din namang magagawa, umuulan ulit ng malakas sa labas." Tumakbo ako palabas. Tama nga siya.

"Hann please come inside."
niyakap niya ako.

" Si nikki?"

" Don't worry pinagpaalam na kita kay ate. Kaya na daw niya si nikki." Hindi ko na pinansin ang sinabi niya. Alam ko naman na favorite ni ate si kieth. At hindi niya to matitiis.

" Okay. *sigh* Fine, fine, fine. I have three conditions too. "

"What are those?" Umayos na siya ng tayo.

" First, tell me everything now. Are you kidding me with all of these kie? Please tell me you're kidding. Maybe you're doing all of this because you just want to dump your fiancé! Or you just want Nikki! You made all the stories up and kinumbinsi mo ang kuya mo to believe all those lies! Or all of these were just a mistake and I'm your aliby. "

"Stop accusing me! First of all I love you. Second, me and that woman never  had been together. All this time my focus was upon you and Nikki. I've never laid my eyes upon any girl apart from you. You knew that hann. All those years we've been together, I was loyal to you. Baka nga ikaw yung gumive up eh. Diba pinagpalit mo ako sa iba ? That man na ka yakap mo nung gabi na dumating ako. But no hann I don't want to give up on that hope I have inside me that we could be together again. At hindi na talaga kita pakakawalan again. I'm honest to you ever since and always will be. You know that."

"Then why are the both of you getting married?"

" Haha Jane is just obsessed with me. Since college remember?  Para siyang linta? Well Hindi mo nga naman siya mapapansin kasi iniiwasan ko siya at alam niya na pag nandiyan ka, hindi na siya pwede lumapit. Black belter ka ba naman sa taekwondo. Mom said na dahil may asawa ka na daw, dapat daw ako rin at makakatulong daw ang business nila sa amin on one of our business if we have them as  partners. I didn't agree ofcourse. Pero gusto talaga nila ako ipagpilitan kay jane. Jane planned everything sa kasal. Bahala siya don magpakasal siya sa sarili niya. "

"Uhmm..." Nakalimutan ko na ang iba ko pang tanong.

"Pasok na kung wala ka nang tanong... Get some rest. I'll lead the way. " Umakyat na kami, gusto ko matulog. Doon parin ako pinapasok ni kie sa kwarto kanina. Well alam ko may malaking kama dito pero nakakailang.

" San ka matutulog kie?"  napa hawak lang ako sa ulo ko. Ang sakit.

" Sa tabi mo. Malaki ang kama kasya tayo. Pinasadya ko din to."

" Na ano? Magkatabi tayo? Diba malaki naman ang bahay na to? baka may kwarto pa na bakante doon na lang ako."

" Pinasadya ko na malaki ang kama. At wala nang bakante. Guestrooms, walang kama doon and sa isang room nandoon na si kuya. Sila manang, sa pinaka baba. Ano makikipagsiksikan ka don? Magagalit din sayo ang iba. Bahala ka. "

" Sa couch na lang ako." Tatayo na sana ako nang bigla niya akong tinandayan.

" Dito ka na. Parang hindi mo naman ako nakatabi matulog. Tulog na tayo."

" Kie!" Hindi parin siya gumagalaw kahit inuusog ko na siya.

" Susundan ko si nikki tonight. Wahhaha." Tinadyakan ko na lang siya.

" As if. " Inirapan ko ang  baliw.

" I'll take that as a Go sign." Pumatong siya sa akin.

" I won't take no for this." He lowered his head and ako naman napapikit na lang. Then he planted kiss on my forehead.

" I love you. Me amore. Sleep tight." He whispered. Then I can feel his breath at my neck. And akala ko kung ano, he rested his face on my neck. Ganon lang, his weight was bearable though kasi half lang ng body niya ang naka sandal sa akin. He closed his eyes as I opened mine. He's handsome, very handsome. I know he's sucking all my scent from my  neck. Pero hindi  naman nakakairita.

I can live with this forever. No, I'm not sure. Totoo ba talaga to kieth? Ewan ko pero let me stay here for even a few hours with you. I'm afraid to say I still love you too.

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Okay now, proud na po ako sa self ko haha. Kahit ganito na hindi po ako masyado magaling magsulat. Chao ducklings hehehe. Lab lab😍😋