Love is a Commitment (Taglish)

Courage

I stared at the ceiling after waking up. The rush of memories got to me. And let out a loud sigh and before deciding to take deep long breaths, I told my self I need to get up and do something. I could lay there until I die if I was a teenager. But now, well maturity gets to people. I need to do something.

I texted Veron if I could go to her house. I said to "just chill and talk about her getting me a date". Well obviously it's a code that something's off but I'm alive. She knows I hate having linked to anyone anymore because why else was I working long nights at work and being workaholic.

There are codes where you know, you don't want to bother them but you're saying you need a bit of their time from them. It's like saying sana hindi ako nakakaabala sa inyo ng lover mo but text me back if when you're willing to accommodate me.

She took a few seconds to reply.

"Come, I'll personally bake you some cake."
I smiled at her. She's too kind. But at times like that, Drake is there but probably playing chess or other board games with her Dad.

"I'll be there in a minute. Thank you."
I genuinely smiled.

She called me then.
"That's not like you, come here quick. You've always said 'Yeyyy!' when you text me like this. Not thank you. Quick Athena."
Not dropping the goddess acting we've been doing.

"Ohhh... Uhmm okay, just going to shower a bit then off I'll go." Cutting her off after her sensing that I'm getting stranger.

After ko maligo, nagbihis at inayos ko na lang yung mga loose curls ko. Tapos nag lagay na lang ako ng concealer, mascara at lipstick. Hindi ko naman kailangan lahat yun pero para lang hindi halata ang mga petechiae ko dahil sa kakaiyak. It shows and stays kasi and disappers after a day or two. Depending on how stressed I am and how many times I cried.

I left my room and gone down stairs. Nakita ko silang lahat kasali si kuya at si K na nagtatawanan sa sala.

"Mommy, aalis lang po ako saglit." Pagpapaalam ko sa nanay ko.

"Where are you going? Hindi ka pa nag didinner." Yes, It's night now di ko yun napansin.

"Okay lang my, I'll manage po. Some business to do. Gotta go."
At umalis na ako agad.

"Basta ingat ka lang ha," sigaw ni ate nung palakad na ako sa pinto.

Nasa garage na ako sa likod ng bahay, at kinakapa ang ilaw sa gilid ng dingding.

I got it. Pero na gulat ako nung may biglang umakap sa akin galing sa likod.

"Iiwan mo na naman ako?" Aniya with his deep but hoarse voice.

"Bitawan. Mo. Ako." Diniin ko na sa galit ko.

" But... Han. Pwede isama mo ako?" Ano to Bata?

" K. Tama na. Cut it out. I just need to run some errands. Don't be so dramatic. Don't worry hindi naman ako masamang ina para takasan ang anak ko." At in a few seconds he broke me out from his tight hug. I felt empty after that. I don't want to admit that I miss hugging him. I feel like I stabbed myself. Pero kaya ko to.

He felt sorry after that. Hinayaan niya ako pumasok sa sasakyan.

Nakita ko rin si ate Fine sa likod niya muttering "just let her be for now".

At Veronica's house, She lent me some wipes. Ayaw niya raw na makita ako ni Dad na wasak ang mascara at lipstick.
Alam niya I'll be crying my heart out to her again.

" Si Kieth na naman?" Sighing as she takes her cake out and pours chocolate and everything.

"The last time you got wierd as hell like this was because you didn't see him and the other was when you knew you were pregnant." Aniya tapos niyakap ako.