A broken-hearted mystery
With no reprieve that I can see
As my life's on the ground in front of me
And a wish for hope is faith's dying plea
I'm ever falling in slow motion it seems
Watching my life from a different means
Staring at reality-
Hoping that it's just a dream
But swept up in the rushing sea
That I was pushed in by my disbelief
It's hard to see through the jaded lines
Of mystery before my eyes
Hard to grasp, to realize
That what I'm seeing isn't idealized
But the truth,stripped down-not hypersensitized
And I'm losing a grip on my happy life
The one that I synthesized
To suit my need to empathize
With the things going on around me on the outside
So that I wouldn't have to focus on the inside
Wouldn't have to face these problems
Staring me down-taunting me-convincing me I'll never solve them
Telling me it's too hard of a job
And ripping me apart while I look on
From the outside-slack jawed
Cause the things I see are enough to make your jaw drop
These things I held inside so I wouldn't have to see them
Wouldn't have to share them
Never have to solve them
Never have to walk this road
Never have to uncover the pain from long ago
The anger taunting me-convincing me it's best to just blow
Blow my top and hurt the few people I haven't let go
Take all my problems-ball them up and throw
Throw them far away so that I won't have to approach
Approach my demons and break the code
The code I set up to put off the foreboding
Foreboding things I don't want to address
But I have to in order to get out of this mess
I wish I could turn back, make myself repress
The feelings that caused me to redress
The things that I always new would come next
But they always come back and get the best
The best of me when I'm not watching
Keeping a close eye on the things all around me
Why do these things always come back and haunt me?
Why am I caught up in the mystery
That I caused in my own disbelief?
