* I'll tell u when to play the song later *
I couldn't sleep all night long. Cari fell asleep after out laughing and talking, we were all pretty tired. But I just couldn't fall asleep. I had this feeling that I couldn't get rid off.
It's a combination of mixed feelings actually. I was nervous. It's a pretty big deal, this whole shit. I mean, when are they gonna find all the suspects? It's not so easy, it's gonna take weeks or maybe months man. It's seven people and I'm sure the lieutenant made some calls to them or their families, he scared them away. And they're not guilty, not all of them. Maybe the man isn't even in the states. He may be in like Europe or even worse, dead.
I was also sad. Not for the man, I wish they'll find him and throw him in jail for the rest of his life. I'm sad cause shit was good. We were good. I was good with Cari, with Claire and also my friends. We will be good but the atmosphere is tensed, I feel it. Like they feel bad or sorry for me and I don't want that.
We'll get through this. Together.
*play song*
It was still 4 a.m., this night was long. I slept for like half an hour but now that I couldn't fall alseep again, I was just staring at her.
Is it possible to be even more beautiful when she is sleeping? Her body is rested, her chest going up and down.
She was sleeping on my shoulder, her face buried in the crook of my neck and left hand was around my abdomen. She was in a deep sleep and I was caressing her back.
" If you keep doing that we'll have to stay in bed all day. " she caught me by surprise. Apparently she wasn't in a deep sleep. I smiled and stopped running my hand up and down on her back. " I didn't tell you to stop. " she complained.
" Did I wake you up? " I asked her.
" I can feel you moving all the time, what's up with you? " she buried her face deeper in my back to snuggle closer.
" I can't sleep. Sorry for waking you up. " I replied and planted a kiss on her head. " Go back to sleep. "
" What time is it? " she mumbled.
" 4:15. "
" Babe, it's too early, why aren't you sleeping? " she removed her head from my neck and looked at me. Her face was slightly red and her eyes were hardly open.
" I don't know. " I took my arm, on which she was sleeping moments ago and put it behind my head.
" Okay. " she sat. " Look. " she took my hands in hers. " I know it's hard for you. Trust me, I know it. But you can't be like this all the time. It won't do something, babe. " she was slowly caressing my hands with her thumbs. " You're not alone and you know that. I am here and I will always be here, just like your friends will. We are all worried about you, even Claire and she is 3 years old. " she paused.
" I know. " I simply said.
" We will get through this just like we always do with everything. I wasn't always next to you, I wasn't here all these years but I am now. And I'm here to stay. I swear. " she kissed my hands.
" I love you. " I said and immediately leaned to kiss her lips. She reciprocated the kiss and wrapped her hands around my neck to deepen the kiss.
" I love you more. " she smiled in the kiss.
" You have to get some sleep now. " she pulled me close in her embrace and laid in bed again with me in her arms.
" You want to get rid off me so you can have a peaceful sleep. " I teased her.
