Real Girl in the Fake World

Resolving

I put a picture and a Youtube Video up top. . . . . I hope it works But if Not you Could just look up the Song, It's The Silent Scream by Anna Blue or whatever Version you want. Either Way there will be at LEAST one Song per Chappy Because our Dear Sweet Emilia is a Music lover soooooo yeah there's that! Hope you enjoy the next chappy!!!

Emilia's Pov

The Avatar Returns

The last notes from the song Home come to an end on my head phones . . . just like my mini vacation here. I can't believe I've already been here for three days now, I'll be leaving this beautiful non-judgemental place to go home to a mother and father that will expect me to have a solid decision on what I'm going to go into for college. The music starts up again, with the tune to Silent Scream starting up.

 I'm caught up in your expectations
You try to make me live your dream
But I'm causing you so much frustration
And you only want the best for me

I started to put away most of my things except for sleeping bag and backpack. I was planning to go on one more hike before leaving tomorrow, and it shouldn't rain so I could just sleep in the back of the pick up. But I stayed my hands as I listened to the lyrics and compared them to my own life.

You're wanting me to show more interest
To always keep a big bright smile
Be that pinky little perfect princess
But I'm not that type of child  

This - was - just - too - much!?

 And the storm is rising inside of me
Don't cha feel that our worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside
Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out
The silent scream  

How was I suppose to make a solid decision when I don't have a clue as to what I want to go into?! If anything I'd just want to go into a normal job! Maybe a high school theater teacher or something like that?! Why were they all pressuring me to go into something HUGE!? Couldn't I just do what I wanted to do? At least then I would be happier in going to school!

The music continued as did my thoughts, my whole family had done the nearly impossible, they have literally gone above and beyond in their work. My mom, Dad and Nana at one point was the lead chef in a chain of restaurants and traveled the world as a personal chef for many famous people! Heck even Bobby is a star student at school and in sports?! I mean I never got anything below an A- on my grades but I wasn't like the rest of them. 

Each of us unique in our own way. . . . . . . . 

Why couldn't I be my own type of unique too. . . . . 

The song ended and another came on but I was too busy thinking about what I was going to say to my family that I didn't even hear what song it was. I just had to tell them. . . I couldn't keep up this crazy academic charade, I wanted to be a teacher of the arts. I didn't know which type of arts I wanted to do whether it was with actual art, theater or music it didn't matter to me. All I know is that I didn't want to be stuck in a high end time sensitive job with no time on my hands. I didn't want to be like my family members always busy and with the world on their shoulders. I wanted a bit more freedom with my life, and more fun too.

I smiled and gave my tent another good shove into the back seats of the truck. I made a decision, I going to college to be a high school teacher! I'm going to march back home and announce at the top of my lungs, "I'M GOING TO BE A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER!"

And dad will glance at me and grin, "Get down from the table squirt and stop fooling around."

Mom will not even bat and eye and smile along with dad, "Silly Emi. "

Then I'll turn around and say "I'm Being Serious here!?"

And Then. . . . . Dad. . . . . . and Mom. . . . . would. . . . 

*sigh*

I'm so dead.

I can picture my tombstone "Here Lies Emilia Ren, the dipstick who caused her own death by telling her highly accomplished parents no. She is loved by the lazy cat of the family." 

Either that or my friend Cathy was right about those 10 person text message things? But before I die tomorrow! Dinner then hike, and hopefully Kristi will be right and I'll get some 'enlightenment' from nature. And when I get that I'll be able to face the fam with a little more confidence. Welp better get the last fire going for dinner. 

Little jewels who are Reading this. . . . I Promise this is an Avatar the last Airbender Fanfiction. I love you all and I hope you all Have a Great day!!!!