one night stands and revolving chairs adam levine fan fiction

chapter 17

Shelby stood up and I couldnt believe what I was seeing. On her tiny frame the soft little bulge forming in her abdomen was unmistakeable.

"you're pregnant?"

She stood there for a minute, her eyes beginning to well with tears as she nodded slightly to confirm my suspicions.

"are you ok? is everything ok with the baby?"

"we are fine Adam. Everything is fine."

My heart was telling me to take her into my arms and never let her go again..but my head was telling me that I needed to stay angry . Shelby had a lot of explaining to do.

"shelby, I think I deserve some sort of explanation here. You are carrying my child.. Why the hell did you take off like that and why the hell did you not tell me I was going to be a father? "

'I was trying to do what was best for you..."

I had to laugh a little at that..not because it was funny but because it was such a fucked up answer that if I didnt laugh I would explode with rage...

"so breaking up with me, tearing my heart to shreds and keeping my child a secret from me is whats best for me... thats rich Shelby...really fucking rich"

"you didnt want the baby anyway Adam.."

"what the hell are you talking about..?"

"The night you went out with Blake and Miranda you came back and saw the pregnancy test..and when I told you it was negative you were happy... you said we dodged a bullet and we would have to be more careful in the future"

Damnit..I had said that..I hadnt meant it at all, but my stupid ass did say it.

"Shelby, I was actually extremely disappointed..but you seemed relieved and I didnt want to make the situation any worse by telling you I was upset..I said a completely stupid and insensitive thing...but...if the test was negative..."

"The test just couldnt detect the pregnancy because it was too early. I found out the next day at the hospital after the car accident.."

"wait..you were in a car accident.. so not only were you carrying my child, you got into an accident while carrying my child and you still opted not to pick up a fucking telephone.. "

"I found out at the hospital that I was pregnant and all I could think about was what you said.. and I just panicked and I decided to leave.. I didnt want to trap you with a kid you didnt want and I didnt want to ruin what we had."

"so to keep from ruining what we had by telling me that I got the woman that I loved pregnant  you opted to not tell me I got the woman I loved pregnant and ended up..ruining what we had..Great logic there Shelby.. Brilliant'

All efforts to not lose my temper had been abandoned. i was furious and there was no sense even trying to pretend otherwise. 

 Shelby reached her hand out to place it against my cheek. The touch of her skin against mine after all this time was so electrifying.. But I was still so angry with her that i refused to allow myself the enjoyment

"Dont, Shelby just dont" I said in frustration as i pushed her hand away. "I dont even know what to say to you right now. I am so fucking pissed off at you..Do you have any idea how bad it hurt me? I came home and you were gone.. We spent hours making love the night before.. I told you how much I loved you..You knew i loved you damnit.. but you just fucking left me..and you took my baby with you.. My god woman were you ever going to fucking tell me that was my kid or were you going to end up married to Tom and raising it with him..'

"No.. Adam no..I was going to tell you..I swear i was. I wanted to tell you tonight because seeing you again made me realize I was never going to get over you no matter what and i missed you so much and i miss us and Adam I just want it all back.. I was on my way over to talk to you but your girlfriend came to get you"

"she isnt my girlfriend. Thats melody my hired babysitter. My managers havent been real impressed with my behavior as of late. They hired her to keep me in line.."

I could see the relief wash over her face. I believed her when she said she missed me as much as I missed her. I believed her when she said she wanted it all back. I just didnt know if I believed it could ever be possible again.

"Adam, where are you going?"

I had started towards the door. The room was starting to suffocate me.. I needed air..

'I... I need time to process this Shelby. I cant talk to you about us right now. I dont know if there can ever be an us again. I"m too angry right now and I'm too hurt and... Right now i dont trust you at all. I trusted you with my heart. After Anne that was something I didnt think I would ever do again. but I fell in love with you and i loved you more than i ever loved her, and I trusted you more than i ever thought possible. I gave you every last single shred of me and you left me. you threw all that trust and all that love away when you left me...I dont know if I can ever get that back... and right now i dont even want to try. I'm too numb from all the pain.. i just need to concentrate on getting my shit together so I can be a father to my child. That child is all I am going to let myself care about right now.."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks and I wanted to kiss them away. But I wasnt going to cave in. I couldnt...

"I've gotta go.. please keep me informed about Dr. appointments and stuff. I want to know everything from now on.. "

"Adam please wait.."

I heard her calling out to me as I shut the door...I didnt go back though it took every ounce of strength I had not to...