Innocence (Burning Beliefs #1)

Chapter Twenty-Nine *edited*

Chapter Twenty-Nine

SERENA'S POV

How could she do this? Get up and leave? After everything that just happened? Abandoning Sam in the hospital, trying to convince Dean that she loves him, trying to apologize to Cas? In fact, the message she left for him was that he's free now. Free from what, her? If there is one thing I know, it's that he'd rather be locked up.

And Zach? What do I think about Zach? After he tried to kill me and my sister AND my father! What am I supposed to feel about him? I loved him, but I don't know if I still do. What is love? Was I ever actually in love with him? I don't know. I don't know, I don't. Know.

"Serena, what are you doing?" Cas's tired voice calls.

We're staying overnight in the hospital, in Sam's room. The nurses don't mind. I guess Cas noticed I was missing from the pile of blankets on the floor. I'm currently occupying the bench just outside of the room, chewing on my nails.

"Thinking," I reply, my voice tight and worried.

Dad shuts the door gently so he doesn't wake anyone, and comes to sit next to me. He holds his hands in his lap, wringing them together.

"About your sister?"

"Among other things."

"Zach," my father sighs.

I tilt my head and rest it on one hand. "I thought I was in love with him."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"But it didn't feel like a mistake, Dad," I admit.

I can tell Cas conflicted. He's staring at the ground, hard, as if it was the only thing that mattered.

"Love can make you do crazy things, Puella." Okay. The nickname thing again. That's either really good.... or really bad. "You're probably just feeling guilty about falling in love with him in the first place."

"I - I'm not sure that I'm over him," my eyebrows tilt inwards and I start to get a headache.

He understands now. I can see it in the dawning of his eyes. "You're still in love with him."

"Was I ever in love?" I ask. "I know I like him. A lot."

"Puella," Cas tries.

"No. Don't. Please."

My lungs are inflating and deflating like a balloon. The door opens to reveal a very sleepy Dean.

"Do me a favor you two," he says, blinking overdramatically. "Shut up and get back to sleep."

Cas and I share a look. Both of our eyes are saddened. Dean walks back into the room, waiting for us.

Cas looks like he's going to say something, but I don't let him. I push past Dean into the room and shove the covers over my body. I let the cold from the room sink into my skin.

I don't know anymore. I don't know.

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This is barely one page... I'm sorry these chapters are getting really short. Hopefully they'll get better as we go along...