My Poetry is You

Our story

(Okay, here goes nothing)

I have always loved you
From the moment I started talking to you or better yet
From the moment you looked at me
And it sounded sweet when u said to me that I was the only one you looked at when u entered the room
You made it sound romantic, you know
You told me not to think too much and not to be a typical songstress as it took me nowhere
That was what you thought
But it got poetry out of me
Every song you recommended reminds me of you
It's like I like you more with every song you tell me about
As it's one more song that I relate to you
Relate to your memory
I am not a huge supporter of feelings and those that are romantic and unnecessary
The past few years I have surprisingly managed to grow my emotions leaning towards you
I honestly didn't expect I'd let myself fall or confess
But the feelings were on and off
Cos I had life happen to me too
They were hatred and the feeling of having someone who doesn't like you like the way they used to do
yes there were times when I hated you too
Like you did hate me
You know, you were the only person that I got close with in this strange new place and
I wasn't emotionally well when you left me high and dry
When you left, I think you made me feel nothing but hollow again
At first at I was confused and angry with myself
And later with you
But I'm only human and I forgive
I love
Even at those times when I seemed to have stopped thinking of you
It's like the pause has gotten me closer to you
I am not surprised by my ability to romanticise about a person
I am a poet afterall
What followed our time together and the split
I swear, it had me wondering about what you did everyday
I moved on after a while
Let myself go crazy and break my rules for a while
You managed to be cold to me
And I, clingy and sorry
I am sure you had your reasons to act that way apart from what you told me were the reasons
It was cruel, what we both went through
You were my first and you know that
You will always be my first
Because of you I felt things, beautiful things
We had a beautiful thing going on
Beautiful emotions, beautiful relationship, beautiful minds, beautiful talks
we had a beautiful time, although we didn't know what to label it
I guess I stayed numb all the while when you were open to love
I wasn't ready to be loved
I wasn't ready to love
I ask my friends and they say I REALLY love you
Well, that's what friends say
But I loved you anyway somewhere inside me
For love is nothing but pure affection, a feeling of connection
I cared for you
I knew about you,
And a little about your mother and your father,
A little more about your brother and your grandparents
So I guess it's safe to say I knew enough about you to care for you
Two years down the line I am seeing us
the tables have turned and I couldn't feel any more stupid and pathetic
You've ruined me for love
You've ruined me for songs
I've ruined myself for love
But thank you
For loving me for who I was
Should I have the slightest belief that you might still like me?
For, now you know, I have loved you