Flame Inside ✿ Damien and Matthew

Chapter 9

(Trigger Warning: Self-deprecating thoughts and a panic attack)

As they were walking back to the mansion, Emma was holding onto James' arm when she asked, "James?"

"Yes, miss?" he replied.

"I have a question?"

"What is it, miss?"

"What do you think of me?"

James' eyes widened in surprise and Emma swore she could see a faint blush creeping up onto his face, a blush he slowly became aware of as he had never expected to be asked. He blushed, not because he had romantic feelings for her, no that was for his brother to feel, but because he realized from the insecure almost frail sound of the question that in that moment she needed a genuine uplifting answer and for some reason she chose him to ask. Maybe it was because she thought Matthew or Thalia would lie, thinking he was too nice and cared for her too much to tell her the truth, or maybe James was just the person closest to her at the moment when she felt the need to ask.

He cleared his throat before replying, "I think you are a beautiful, kind, cunning, girl who needs to be reminded of that sometimes." Emma smiled at him, somewhat believing his words.

"He's lying." A voice whispered in her head. It was that stupid, aweful voice that always caused the doubt to set, it was that ridiculous voice that had caused her to ask the question to begin with.

Emma gasped and closed her eyes before replying to the voice, "Leave me alone. Please."

"Is something wrong, miss?"

"N-no, I-I'm f-f-fine." Emma stammered.

"Like he's gonna believe that." She squeezed her eyes shut tighter and took a shaky breath.

"I said leave me alone."

"Sorry, bitch, that's not gonna happen."

She gulped. "Miss?"

Emma opened her eyes and looked at James, doing her best to feign an alright expression, "Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

James furrowed his brows and gave her a concerned look. "You can tell me anything, miss."

"I'm fine, really." Emma gave him her most convincing smile. He realized he wasn't going to get anything out of her so he just frowned and looked straight ahead.

"Pathetic bitch."

"Go away."

"No. I'm just trying to help you realize the truth. Which is that you are a pathetic bitch who deserves to burn hell so no one has to see your ugly face. So go do everyone a favor and kill yourself." She found herself unable to reply. Words were stolen from her mind as the cruel words echoed. "Nothing to say? Well that just proves you know I'm right."

From several feet ahead of her, Damien's eyes widened, both the voice and Emma's responses having echoed in his head. "Emma!" He heard James exclaim as Emma's thoughts began to run at a mile a minute.

"Damien?" Thalia asked him, noticing his change in expression and tightening of his hand around hers. He released her hand, not responding as he turned to Matthew and told him briefly of Emma's thoughts before he immediately rushed back towards her.

Meanwhile, Emma gasped for air. She felt like she was choking. Zecaeru! She thought desperately, unable to breathe let alone speak. Moments passed before she felt two hands cupping her face and she looked at Matthew through tear filled eyes.