I want you back (manan)

Ignorance

Nandini's pov

I never understood why people wear white during condolence , I always thought it's just a random fashion adopted from Indian cinema and celebs are just carrying out their legacy. In time of grief how can people even bother about colours decorating their dress , does it even matter ??

But now I got my answer  , I looked at my reflection on window glass wrapped in a white   saree. White a colour symbolize peace , gratitude and calm. White is the most purest colour , mingling with other , it holds a supreme power to show feelings .

' from where this stupid thoughts are coming in my mind ' my brain mocked at me dominating my heart. Placing my forehead over the cold windowpane and closed my eyes  balancing my body weight accordingly.

Mom's last prayer meet was going on , it's been twelve days since she left us all alone taking away the motherly warmth from us. The twelve days were like a firewalk , the last manik talk with me was in the hospital , the last I felt his touch and presence near me . After finishing the last ritual of mom he came in house with his cousins like a dead soul , I so wanted to accompany him but the closed relatives from his side said women's are not allowed to go there. But that wasn't which stopped me from going , I asked manik but he left nodding his head in no , stating his words without any word.

In between these day's I tried to talk to him but he closed all the doors which lead me to him. Firstly he closed himself in his room for three days then with Aaru's help he somehow come out of his den but little did I knew it wasn't manik who came out of the room but a person totally unknown to be. Manik and his family held five prayer meets four of them where held in Mumbai itself and one in Rishikesh mom's hometown . Though no one asked me to attend the meets but I can never step back taking and fullfiling a daughters responsibility.  I attended them all and today is the last meet. It's been 2 hours since manik came back with cabir and his cousins from Sangam doing the last Ritual this morning. He came asked for Aaru and taking her in his arms left from my sight. Though I m not afraid that manik will take Aaru away from me rather in all these days I make sure that at least Aaru stayed with him 24/7 so that he doesn't feel alone. Be it letting Aaru sleep with manik and me staying in my house with an empty side beside my bed . I know all these days went too hectic and a total roller coaster ride of emotions messing up what we built 'hope' for us. Some of manik's relatives were a great support and some just accused me for something which i haven't done. Some even asked manik to settle down in his life with someone who deserve him , and just the mare thought about this made my head burst.  It is true in hard time only you will know who really care about you and who just pretend . Many people came to me and assured me that everything will set back to normal to just give it some time , people whom I don't never even know show concerned to me most of them were manik's colleagues like director , editiors , producers to actors . It became and still maintained to be in every newspapers page3 section. I felt so bad that no one is giving us our own space to grieve , if we even wanted to get fresh air we couldn't came out of the four walls because the other side people are standing with their cameras and tons of questions.

"Ma'am someone is asking for you in Hall " my thoughts came to a halt and opening my eyes I saw one of the Malhotra's servent in front of me . Nodding my head in a yes I moved forward removing the tears with back of my palm preparing myself to listen 'all will be fine' from all of them.

When I reached hall I saw manik looking at my way , taking some deep breaths I moved close to him and noticed three more persons standing beside him. Coming in front of them I looked at manik asking what Happened but he just simply avoided any eye contact and move his gaze from me to the person beside him.

" Hello Miss murty , we are from Mumbai police "  the person in front of me introduced himself and the other two members of his team. Cause they were in casual clothes I didn't recognized them in the first place , well it's good that they didn't came with their uniforms or else things would have taken a bad shape.