Just Do It (TannerBraungardtxDylanMitchell)

10: Mixed Feelings

Tanner was slightly below average in height and bony with little to no muscle tone. His size was diminutive, but the charisma in his voice and the confidence -though often fake - he carried in his knobby shoulders compensated for his frame. To the ordinary eye, not much about him screamed sex appeal. But to Dylan, oh boy.

Dylan's height was way above average and he was very nearly just as skinny. His limbs were awkward, back almost permanently slouched with the weight of what he refused to believe was depression. Badly cut hair and a terrible fashion sense made it obvious he was a mess. Tanner smiled every time he saw his angular face.

They were such an odd looking couple. They were happy.

Neither of them could really believe it was working, in all honesty. Tanner expected Dylan to back out after a day or two. They both did. But they went on a second date. Across from each other in an IHOP booth, Dylan accepted the utter attraction he felt towards Tanner and couldn't wait to get alone with him. That finalized everything. Tanner knew they were boyfriends, though Dylan still hadn't accepted that word. Being with Dylan made him so unbelievably happy.

But today, he wasn't happy. He felt that itch of anxiety he almost forgot about. (Being with Dylan had made it better) The pain pulsed throughout his abdomen. Fighting through it made it intensify, but he didn't want his endearing mom to worry more than she already was.

Travelling was rough on Tanner. The closed in airplane seats. Being in a strange place. Sleeping in a bed other than his own. It worsened the anxiety and Kim was so concerned about flying her kids and their friends to Hawaii.

But this time, Tanner wasn't worried about the flight. He was worried about keeping what he had with Dylan a secret. Both he and Quentin were joining the Braungardts, along with Tristan's friend Jordyn. That meant being around five other people at nearly all times. No privacy for Dylan and him.

He didn't let his struggle show. The whole clan was so excited about the trip. Tanner didn't want to drag them down. So he buried the nerves deep inside where they could be ignored.

Still, he sat there and picked at his nails. Subconsciously, of course.

"Fuck!" He whispered.

The sting of a nail torn too short yanked him back to the real world. His friends had sprawled across the bed, yelling nonsense at each other about whatever video game they were playing. Tanner couldn't recall when they had gotten here.

"Tanner, when are you gonna pack? We're leaving in the morning." Quentin pointed out.

"In the morning."

He rolled onto his side, curled up on a beanbag. Dylan frowned at the sight, knowing something was wrong. He tried to ignore it. With Quentin around, they had to act like just friends. But he couldn't stand seeing the beautiful boy sad.

"Q-Dog, go get some food."

Quentin groaned, but left for the kitchen.

"Babe, what's wrong? You look like shit."

Dylan was now kneeling on the plush carpet beside the beanbag. He leaned forward, pushing the gold locks off Tanner's forehead. The blonde blinked through forming tears and sniffed. He felt so stupid for crying. It was embarrassing.

"I don't know." It wasn't entirely a lie. "It's just...my side, and, and us. And I don't know."

Dylan soothed him with a tight embrace and hushed words. If anything, their relationship made them even more fiercely protective of each other. Dylan wanted to face Tanner's anxiety and punch it square in the face and tell it to never come back. He hated it.

"You're okay, babe." He kissed the top of his blonde head.

"Thanks, Mylan. You're the best."

Tanner felt less itchy, having released some pent up emotions. His cheeks burned red. He was embarrassed by his slight mental break down and laughed at his own ridiculousness.

"Cuddle me, please?"

The brown haired boy was all too happy to climb into the beanbag and curl his body against Tanner's back. Tanner felt intensely better with Dylan's arm holding him close and his warm breath puffing against his neck. They were both in heaven laying with each other like that.

Quentin was quite startled when he walked in with two bags of Doritos and a two liter Mountain Dew. He didn't expect to see his friends in such an...intimate position, though once the initial shock passed, he realized he should have been preparing for this to happen one day. He let them sleep and quietly munched on chips while scrolling through Netflix. He wondered how long they had been together.

Long after the sun had set, Tanner stirred, rubbing his heavy eyes. His room was dark, except for the blue glow of the flatscreen, and silent. Dylan lay next to him, sound asleep. He had a fuzzy memory of the dream he was just having. Though he only remembered bits and pieces, he realized the dream made him sad, but who knows why? He tried to shake it off with a glass of ice water. He stood in the kitchen, staring at nothing with a cold spot in his chest. The ice felt good.

Deep down, he knew he was overreacting, yet there was nothing he could do to change how he felt. It wasn't like he wanted to felt like he did. He definitely just wanted to get the fuck over it and just be okay.

But he couldn't.

When Dylan heard he was going to Hawaii with everyone, he knew why. It was a last big blow out before the Braungardts left for California. He had mixed feelings about the trip. On one hand, he loved travelling and had always wanted to visit Hawaii. I'm the other hand, it meant the time he had left with Tanner would start counting down.

Tanner sat on a stool, staring at his empty glass and contemplated whether or not he should fill it up a fourth time.

"Dude, what are you doing up?"

The sudden noise caused Tanner to jump out of his skin and send the glass flying. A split second later, the air was filled with the sound of shattering glass spraying across linoleum. He stared at the sparkling shards, abruptly unfeeling.

Quentin approached cautiously. "Let's get you to bed, okay?"

Tanner barely noticed him. He let him lead them to the bedroom. He lay on the beanbag and fell immobile. He only started feeling again and came back to reality when the warm, protective arms of his boyfriend wrapped around him, sleepily.