Just Do It (TannerBraungardtxDylanMitchell)

5: Depression & A Hot Tub

Tanner had struggled with his mental health since he was just a kid. Panic attacks, anxiety, depression. Growing up in a small Kansas town, where people were normal, he was considered an outsider, just a stupid rich kid looking for attention. The bullying at school didn't help. Everyone hated him.

None of the therapists he saw understood him either. They just blamed it on his parents' divorce and wrote him another prescription. But that wasn't the problem. Anyone who knew Tanner knew that. He was a happy person, living in a world where no one understood him or accepted him.

It was weird, though, the way people hated him, because they hated his friends too. They were always excluded and called faggots by their classmate. It never made sense. The three of them never fit in, but no one really knew why. It took a toll on Tanner.

Sometimes it got so bad, Tanner would be paralyzed in pain, a sharpness in his lower abdomen that was excruciating. It was the main side effect of the anxiety he constantly felt, besides the attacks and ever present fear. Doctors didn't have answers for it. They performed surgery, and when they didn't get answers from that, they called it depression, and gave him another pill.

Tanner's family had to watch him at all times, monitor his habits. If his nails were short and ragged, it was a sign the anxiety was getting bad, and they couldn't let him be alone in case something happened. They were all worried about him on a daily basis.

Kim decided hey, maybe it's this town. Tristan knew the homophobia didn't help, what with being gay himself, and it was no secret how Tanner didn't exactly act straight sometimes. Taylor hated seeing her older brother, who she looked up to, struggle so much. They knew they had to do something.

Dylan was unaware of the real reason they came to California, because it would break his heart, but he would soon find out. Tanner debated about how to tell him. He couldn't think of the right words to say, and anytime he tried to bring it up, the words stuck in his throat and he felt like dying.

How do you tell your best friend you're moving halfway across the country?

Tanner contemplated this, while watching Dylan sleep. The whole family was asleep, except him, so all he could do was lay there and over think. He questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing. He didn't want to leave him.

"Mylan." He whispered.

Dylan grumbled and pulled the white comforter over his head. Tanner shook his shoulder once, then again until he woke up. He grumpily yanked the covers back down and glared at the blonde with a thoroughly unamused expression. His eyes were wonky with sleep and his hair stuck up in every other direction.

Tanner giggled quietly before speaking. "I want ice cream. Do you want ice cream?"

"Get me one of those sandwich things."

He fell back asleep as Tanner ordered as quietly as he could. Ten minutes later, they were sat on the bed in their dark room, silently eating ice cream. Dylan kept rubbing his eyes tiredly. Tanner decided he'd tell him, then immediately chickened out. He asked about ice cream instead. He felt like a coward.

"Can I go to sleep now?"

"It's like six. We have to get up in, like, an hour, anyway."

Dylan rolled onto his stomach. "See you in an hour."

Tanner chewed on the inside of his cheek. He desperately wanted to wake Dylan up again. He didn't want to sit there in silence. He didn't want his mind to wander.

"Dylan."

Nothing.

"Come on. Get up."

Tanner hated being like this. He knew Dylan loved sleep more than anything and he most definitely was not a morning person in any sense of the term. But Tanner wasn't doing so well at the moment.