Just Do It (TannerBraungardtxDylanMitchell)

22: Just Do It

Dylan lay in bed with a blonde head on his chest and scrawny arms wrapped around him. His eyes were closed but he was still awake, combing through his boyfriend's hair with his fingers and absentmindedly whispering words of comfort out of habit. The room with dark and Spotify had long since stopped playing. Dylan peeked open one eye and saw that his phone read 1:32 am. Tanner fell asleep around 11:30. His panic attack wore him out and now that his tremors ceased, he rested hard and soundly. He usually did after panic attacks and honestly, those were the only times he really slept.

Dylan heard his stomach rumble and he slowly, carefully, slid out front under Tanner to go find something to eat upstairs.

He discovered Kim sat at the kitchen island with her laptop, one hand knotted through her hair. It was a normal sight lately. She so desperately wanted to find out what was wrong with her son and traditional medicine wasn't helping in the least. Hours she spent, studying everything what the internet had to say about each of his symptoms. Why did his side hurt? Why did he have anxiety so crippling it stopped his breath? Why?

They had been at the hospital all day. The doctors drew more blood and collected other samples for tests, optimistic that they would find something this time to answer their questions. They waited in those typical, rigid waiting room chairs, on edge and praying. Kim held her son as he lay doubled over in pain. He hated the agony of waiting.

Kim was exhausted.

"How's he doing, hon?"

"Fine. He's sleeping now and stopped shaking."

Kim let out a heavy sigh and tossed her glasses onto the counter, rubbing her eyes. "All those tests they ran today and nothing."

Dylan didn't know what to say, so he searched through the fridge and let her rant. He found a pudding cup and decided that would suffice.

"God, I don't know what I'd do without you, Dylan. Thank you for being there for my baby, Dylan."

"Of course. He's my best friend."

He sat beside Kim with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"You really love him, don't you?"

He shrugged, avoiding eye contact with her. "Imma go check on him."

Tanner was still sound asleep. He slept hard. Dylan hadn't seen him sleep that well in god knows how long. He deserved a good night's rest. Dylan lay back down even though he was wide awake so he could be there for him if he needed, just soothing the sleeping boy.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful." He whispered.

He thought about their first kiss, only a few short months ago and how it felt like a lifetime had passed already. He thought about how he felt shy in front of Tanner for the first time ever and the way his stomach knotted with nerves and the sand under him was warm and he had found comfort in that. He thought about how that warmth blossomed throughout entire body when Tanner's soft lips touched his own and the way he wanted to stay in that moment forever.

He thought about that tightness in his chest when they kissed and that flip-flop his stomach did when Tanner smiled and let out an endearingly rambunctious laugh. His eyes. His lips. His hands. Everything.

Dylan looked at him now and thought of the last few months they spent together and realized something.

"I love you, Tanner."

☁☁☁

Tanner woke in the night, cold because Dylan wasn't there and he'd had a dream so beautiful that all he wanted to do was sit on Dylan's lap and kiss him. But he wasn't there. Tanner had to wipe away forming tears as he called him on FaceTime. He was so happy when Dylan's face appeared on his screen.

"Dude, where are you? You left me."

Dylan frowned. "I'm sorry, babe. I couldn't sleep, so I'm playing Black Ops upstairs so you could sleep."

"Well, I need a hug."

"I'll be right there, baby."

Tanner took deep breaths to calm himself, counting the seconds until Dylan was there. One, two, three, four, five... He made it to twelve then arms wrapped around him and that tightness in his chest melt away.

"Shhh, I'm here, Tanner." Dylan murmured softly.

"I'm okay. Just needed a hug."

Dylan kept his arms secure around Tanner's skinny body until he looked at him with clear eyes and his breathing was steady once more.

"I feel like a retard."

"Why?"

"Because I had a really good dream and it wasn't real."

Dylan frowned and pulled away to properly look aft his boyfriend. He looked tired with forming bags under his eyes and a lopsided, halfhearted smile.

"I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk about it, baby?"

Tanner shook his head

"That's okay. Let's go to sleep then, yeah?"

They lay down together, not really cuddling, yet close enough for comfort. Tanner took heavy, long breaths to calm his nerves and make himself tired. Dylan was half asleep and slightly snoring, but Tanner was wide awake.

"Dylan."

"Hmmf?" He mumbled in reply.

"Remember my first panic attack you saw, whenever we were in, like, sixth grade? And how you just held me?"

Dylan was awake now, intrigued as to what this had to do with anything. "Yeah..."

"You were the only one to ever do that for me. Besides my mom. I think that's why I feel in love with you. Because I knew I was safe and okay with you."

Dylan wanted to make a joke to lighten up the subject, get Tanner's mind off his anxiety. But he merely kissed his forehead and smiled.

"Well," he began "I think what did it for me was just everything. "

Tanner rolled his eyes in the dark.

"No, for real. I'm stupid and lazy. You're happy and positive no matter what. You're adventurous and fun loving so it's never boring with you. You keep me going."

Tanner giggled. "Oh come on. Now you gotta tell me you love me."

He poked Dylan's sharp ribs to get a laugh out of him, the serious atmosphere melting away. They play-fought until Dylan ended up in Tanner, pinning his arms above his head.

"Tell me you love me. Just do it." Tanner said it in a goofy, squeaky voice that made Dylan laugh harder.

Dylan hesitated.

"God, you're stupid." He pecked his stupid boyfriend's lips. "But maybe that's why I love you."

Dylan couldn't see in the dark, but he just knew how wide his boyfriend's eyes went, pupils dilated. Then, the next thing he knew, all of Tanner's limbs were around him in the world's tightest hug and they kissed and Dylan realized what he said.

"Say it again, you dumbass." Tanner didn't even pull away to talk.

The brunette held the blonde's face in his hand, hardly close enough to him. "I love you...Holy, shit. I love you."

"Damn right you do."

Tanner leaned back to look at the love of his life with the fondest expression possible. Then he punched his bony shoulder with a scowl.

"Took you long enough, jeez."