Just Do It (TannerBraungardtxDylanMitchell)

26: The Next Chapter

One Year Later...

Tanner felt happy. Sitting on the edge of the roof, overlooking LA. The sun sat on the horizon, the beautiful golden red it was every evening but Tanner never tired of the scene. He could watch it for a thousand years and still be in awe at the beauty.

That's how Dylan felt looking up at his blonde boyfriend. He always let Tanner have his sunset moments. He couldn't help but stand at the edge of the pool, admiring.

"Hey, baby, are you good?"

Tanner smiled and slowly tore his gaze from the horizon to his boyfriend. "You know I'm fine. Care to join me?"

Dylan didn't know what to say. He had never been invited to watch the sunset, but without thinking, he was climbing the ladder and settling down on the roof next to the love of his life. Tanner habitually leaned into Dylan's side and buried himself in his warmth.

"This has been a crazy year, huh?"

Tanner let out a halfhearted laugh. "That's an understatement. I can't believe our lease for this house is nearly up. What do you think we'll do whenever we have to move out? What's the next chapter for us."

The brunette ran his lanky fingers through his choppy hair. He knew the real question. Back to Kansas or a new house in LA? They had touched the subject over quick breakfasts and late nights, though they never fully discussed it. Neither of them would even know what if they tried to figure it out. It was a sensitive subject to say the least.

"I dunno, but I'm with you, love. No matter what." Dylan kissed the top of Tanner's head in an effort to comfort him. They'd gone a record breaking three weeks without a panic attack and Dylan didn't want to trigger one now.

"I know and that means the world to me."

They knew the time was counting down to the end of their lease and sooner or later, they'd have to make a decision. Kim wanted them back under her roof, yet she knew they needed the responsibility of independence. Living on their own for the past year had done wonders for the two barely adult boys. Still immaturity lingered and Kim saw they needed more time on their own.

"I just don't know what's right."

"I know," Dylan murmured out of habit, "I understand, but we'll make it work."

Tanner sighed as the last of the sun dipped under the horizon and  a dusky blue took over the night sky. He missed the sun when night came and every night, he prayed he would get to see the sunshine again.

"Let's get you inside. It's getting cold."

Tanner felt numb as he followed Dylan into their house, past the other rooms into the bedroom they had shared for the last year. Dylan turned on their lights, setting them to glow red, and pulled back the covers. Once settled in bed, Tanner closed his eyes and didn't bother to pay attention to Dylan's rambling.

He felt himself drift away and he knew he wasn't supposed to let that happen. His therapist always warned him that not being able to pay attention and drifting from conversations were warning signs of depressive episodes or anxiety overload. It always just felt like exhaustion to him and that was a totally different thing.

"Babe?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you're happy."

"Yeah. Of course I am."

Dylan frowed. He could always tell when his boyfriend was disassociating, but this late at night, it is easier to just rub his back and soothe him to sleep. Their troubles would be there in the morning.

☁️☁️☁️

Tanner either didn't remember the night before or he was just pretending that it never, Dylan couldn't tell as they sat at their kitchen island having breakfast the next morning. Dylan fidgeted with his cereal bowl, listening to Tanner rant about some new video game.

"Are you even listening?"

The taller boy nodded and looked at his boyfriend with an uneasy smile. "Yeah, babe."

"What's wrong?"

"You're not happy."

"Of course I am."

"No, you're not. I know you better than anyone, Tanner. I know all of your little quirks and habits and warning signs."

Tanner sighed, pushing away his plate as he felt his stomach drop. "I'm sorry."

"Baby, you know you never have to apologize. Just talk to me. That's all I ask.

He took a deep breath and looked at Dylan's open smile. "I'm just scared. This past year, being here with you, it's been the best time of my life, and whenever I think about it being over, well, I just worry about whatever is gonna happen next."

Dylan wrapped his boyfriend up in his arms and held him close, and they stayed in that position for who knows how long. He knew that Tanner just needed a hug.

"You know it'll be okay. I'm here for you, Kim will help us whenever we need her. We can do whatever we want. I love you and we're in this together."

"I love you, too, Mylan Ditchell." Tanner smiled to himself.

They let the subject drop from there and pushed it to the back of their minds. The couple had a big day ahead  of them. House hunting, packing, decision making. It was all a lot, but Tanner kept in mind that everything would be okay as long as he had the love of hold life by his side.

He looked at Dylan packing away various dumbbells and workout equipment and truly realized how weirdly beautiful the brunette was. He had a goofy smile that Tanner loved so much and it warmed  his heart just watching him in his natural state.

The day dragged on. They had looked at every house within a 50 mile radius and some were so beautiful, but Tanner couldn't imagine living in any of them. He always thought he would know, his gut would tell him when he saw they're perfect house. Now he was strong to think maybe that was just a fairytale story and that there was no such thing as a gut feeling. It was awful coming to this conclusion. Tanner hid it though and plastered on a smile for his boyfriend who was so vehement everything would turn out as it was meant to.

By sunset, Tanner felt nearly numb. He was so over everything and everyone, he just wanted to sleep for a week. He kept his brave smile on and promised a worried Dylan that he was okay. Dylan could always tell when even the littlest thing was off about Tanner. He bought the lie and suggested they walk to the pizza joint just four blocks down the street. Tanner agreed and silently walked, hand in hand, beside Dylan.

"So, when you think about home, what do you see?"

The question caught Tanner off guard, although images immediately flashed through his brain. His childhood house. Green fields covered in cattle. Scooter's Coffee next to the IHOP next to to the Taco Bell. Grandpa Braungardt's farm. Wide open skies. Stars.

"Kansas."

Tanner barely registered the question, didn't even realize he what he said for several long seconds.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Kansas."

"Okay, that's it then. We're moving back home."

Tanner felt overwhelmed with emotion. He couldn't decipher exactly what he was feeling, but mostly he was happy. He would probably always question where home was and they'd probably move a dozen times before settling down, but Tanner knew that home was wherever Dylan was and they would be happy as long as they were together.

"I love you, Dylan."

"I love you, too, Tanner. Now, let's go home."

Tanner kissed his boyfriend, soft and slow, and he could help but smile against his lips. He was just so happy, he couldn't contain it.

"Let's go home, baby."