Chapter 11
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Kasper was taken aback when I suddenly went infront of him. He stared at me with his eyes full of longing and sadness. Kahit na nanginginig ang aking kamay ay inangat ko ito at masuyong pinunasan ang mga luhang lumalandas ngayon sa kanyang pisngi. He was speechless, tanging mga titig lang ang naging tugon nito sa akin. Kahit na nasasaktan akong makita siyang umiiyak sa harapan ko, pinilit ko nalang na ngumiti rito.
I want to assure him that everything will be fine. Gusto kong ipadama sa kanya na narito lang ako sa tabi nito para punan lahat ng pagmamahal ng kanyang ina. I want him to feel loved, and cherished as much as I want him to feel the same for me too. I want him to know that amidst the cruel world we're living, there is still someone who is willing to be at his side.
Gusto kong malaman niya na ako iyon.
"I know how it feels like to lose someone you love. Mula pa noon, alam ko nang sobra kang nasaktan ng mawala ang mommy mo. Ramdam ko. You've been trying to hide your emotions to anyone since then at naiintindihan ko din kung bakit lumaki kang mailap sa iba." I said. Tinignan ko ito pabalik "Now, seeing you in pain makes me understand you more. I want you to know that if you need someone you can open up to, o di kaya ng isang kaibigan, nandito lang ako lagi. Trust me, I will always listen and will never judge you. Ipagtabuyan mo na ako, pero hindi parin ako aalis sa tabi mo." I cupped his face and with both of my thumbs, I wiped his tears, titig na titig ito sa akin at hindi ko mabasa ngayon ang mga mata nitong punong puno ng emosyon. Instead of looking straight to his eyes, I diverted my attention to his cheeks, trying to wipe off his tears trailing.
"Kristen.... Bakit ako?" Garalgal ang boses nitong tumugon sa akin. Hinayaan niya lamang akong hawakan ang mukha nito.
Bakit nga ba si Kasper pa? Of all the men who were dying to have my attention, why did I choose him over them?
That's a question that even myself can't answer. Ang alam ko lamang, nagising na lang ako na siya na ang itinitibok ng aking puso. I don't know why I chose to love him amidst all of his flaws. I loved him because he's the man who he was. And if I need to kiss all of his flaws and imperfections, I am more than willing to do risk it. Masaktan man ako, magpapakamartyr ako dahil mahal ko siya.
Malungkot akong ngumiti rito pagkatapos "When we love someone, having a reason why is not always necessary. Sa mga ibang pagkakataon, mararamdaman mo nalang na mahal mo ang isang tao, without even asking yourself." it was almost a whisper.
Nanigas ito sa kanyang kinatatayuan ng mas nilapit ko ang aking katawan rito at sandaling pinulupot ang aking mga braso para yakapin siya ng buong buo. I closed my eyes as I hugged him tighter, I almost felt his rugged breathing because of what I did and I didn't mind. I burried my face on his rock hard chest and smiled.
I always wanted to savor every moment with him like this. Gusto kong sa tuwing niyayakap ko siya ng ganito kahigpit ay tumatak iyon sa memorya ko. Being with him at times like this makes me happy and I want to cherish every moment. Alam kong walang kasiguraduhan kung sa huli ay mamahalin niya rin ako pabalik, kaya kung sakali mang hindi kami magkatuluyan sa hinaharap, may panghahawakan ako, kahit sa mga alaala lang nito, kahit sa mga bagay lang na ganito, mga ganap na masasabi kong nagbigay saya sa akin kahit na panandalian lamang. Masakit kung iisipin ko ang tungkol rito, pero hindi malayong mangyari ang mga bagay na kinatatakutan ko ngayon.
I wanted to cry myself out and tell him how much I love this man, but I still don't have all the courage to voice out everything that my heart wants to tell him. Okay na ako sa ganito, kuntento na ako kahit sa mga simpleng tagpong gaya nito.
I smiled even though I'm sure that he can't see my face now. Nasasaktan ako pero mas masakit para sa akin na nakikita itong nadudurog ng harap harapan.
BINABASA MO ANG
His Runaway Bride
RomanceKristen Samantha Stuart is not just your typical woman out there. She's a woman full of enthusiam, wit, and energy that keeps her going everyday. Pero kung gaano ito kakulit ay ganoon rin ang pagkadesperada nito para maabot ang ilang taon niya ng pi...