A step to failure ~ chapter 4

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‘’It was just a dream. That was just a dream.’’ I said to myself when I woke up at 8.30. It was just a nightmare. But it wasn’t. Yesterday I really had the worst day of my live and the way Harry hugged me… He can’t be falling for me. Would I like it? Do I like him? Why am I even asking myself these questions? I am such an idiot. I slowly got up and first had a nice long stretch. ‘’I need to exercise more’’ I said loudly to myself. I knew that won’t happen. I went to a few work-outs with Liam but I couldn’t keep up and then I just sat in the corner, and draw smile faces with a stick. ‘’Lol’’ I said out loud again. Why do I even use this word? I’m weird and I’m sure that I’ve lost it! I left my room and went straight into the bathroom. I needed a shower really badly.  The warm water currently helped that I started to think more positive and calmly. Just in my towel I went downstairs to the kitchen. It’s spring break. I’ll be home alone for just 3 days. Then I have just a week of chilling at school and then prom.  We should be in school for more time but they are rebuilding it so we have an extra month of holidays. My mum and step dad are at work and they will be till six or seven. My brother is most likely with the band so I can walk around naked like Harry. But I’m not that crazy- yet. I smiled to myself and grabbed the remote from the kitchen counter. ‘’Liam’’ I thought to myself and turned the TV on. I looked for MTV and they were just playing three from one- One Direction. What a coincidence!  Liam just started his solo in What Makes You Beautiful so this must be the first song. I danced around and sing with them, totally forgetting the fact that I’m wearing just a towel and that I need to eat. While One Thing was playing I heard the doorbell rang. I quickly danced to the door and opened it widely. ‘’Amm… Hello Ally…’’ said Niall looking red as tomato. ‘’Hello Niall’’ I said wondering myself why is he so red. ‘’Niall I’m so sorry, come in. I’ll be ready in a minute.’’ I realised that I’m just in a towel. Showing lots’ skin and legs. I ran upstairs and quickly put on jeans and a t-shirt. I brushed my hair and quickly joined Niall in the living room. ‘’What’s up Niall?’’ I said. ‘’ I just came for Liam’s guitar. Mine is broken so I need to borrow his.’’ He said and smiled to me. ‘’Ow okay’’ I said and went upstairs to get it. ‘’Ally… Ally?’’ I heard screams from downstairs. ‘’Yes Niall?’’ I replied to him. ‘’Um I know this is gonna be a bit awkward but I need to borrow something’’ he said. I slowly went downstairs with the guitar in my hand. I prepared to see what Niall did ‘’SURPRISE’’ the boys screamed at me, ‘’what is going on here?’’ I asked very shocked ‘’we want to cheer you up’’ Liam said ‘’we have cake’’ Harry said and smiled at me.’’ I don’t know about this’’ I thought to myself. ‘’Guys I appreciated. I really do. But I think I would like some alone time with my brother if you don’t mind’’ I asked them and smiled ‘’sure babe’’ Louis immediately said. ‘’Thank you guys’’ I smiled at them and looked at Harry. He was a bit disappointed but he smiled back to me ‘’can I have a word with you Ally?’’ Harry asked me ‘’sure, let’s go into the kitchen’’ I said and followed him.  ‘’what would you like to talk about Harry?’’ I asked politely ‘’about that thing in the park’’ he said slowly ‘’I was very scared. I still am Harry. That means nothing’’ I replied to him. ‘’Yes, it does love’’ he said in his British accent ‘’no it doesn’t. Now Harry please leave’’ I said to him and pointed at the door ‘’fine’’ he said disappointed. ‘’Look Harry’’ I said before he left the kitchen. I can’t break his heart like that ‘’love is not gonna find its way into my life, sorry. You’re a great man. Really. A bit prevented but that is what makes you… You’’ I said to him and smiled. He tried to smile back honestly but he failed. He just nodded and walk out of the door. ‘’Was I to harsh on him?’’ I asked Liam when he entered the kitchen. ‘’Ally… You had to tell him the truth. It wouldn’t be fair if you lied to him and give him false hope. That would hurt more. Much more’’ he seriously said and hugged me over my shoulder.  ‘’So what is the real meaning of this?’’ I played dumb ‘’this?’’ I said ‘’why do you need this alone time?’’ he asked more specific ‘’well I really want to meet your girlfriend’’ I said ‘’really? Why?’’ he asked surprised. I walked into the livening room and sat on the sofa ‘’well I thought a lot about our relationship’’ I slowly started ‘’yes… And?’’ he said. I looked at him ‘’it’s just you are always there for me, you always make me laugh, you make me smile… you even cry with me! And the why I treat you is just horrible. I wanna change. I’m not making promises that it will be quick but I’ll try. Just know that!’’ I confessed to him, my voice was very silent and I could feel tears in my eyes. ‘’and then when I called you from the park…’’ a tear stream down my face ‘’you came without even considering it and that was just so nice...’’ I continued and started to cry. ‘’It’s okay love. I’m here for you. And of course I came! You’re my little sister, my little princes’’ he said and hugged me tight. I hid in his chest and continued to sob. ‘’Ally, please smile. I miss you’re smile. Since dad left us, you didn’t smile and when mum find herself a new boyfriend it just got worse. Don’t you like John?’’ he asked me. I remembered my dad. He always swore, be mean and he drunk a lot. He always did some repairs around the house, he always used me as his assistant and he always called me names and just put me down. I lost most of my confidence then. But now my mum is dating John for about 2 years. I hope she marries him. He’s very nice to me, sure he gets mad sometimes and yells, he rarely says something mean like all people but he apologizes. That’s what counts. ‘’I like John. He is very nice’’ I said after a while and ignored that he mentioned our dad. ‘’So shall we call Danielle?’’ he finally said. I nodded and he grabbed the phone.  

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