Love finds its way ❤ (on hold)

My emotions are my failure ~ chapter 5

After Danielle agreed that she will come, I left Liam alone so he can talk to her in private. I went upstairs and changed my cloths. It’s June so the weather is a bit rainy but not that cold that I couldn’t wear a skirt. I tried to find my yellow skirt which matches my brown eyes but I just couldn’t, so I had to take my skinny black jeans. I put on a pink shirt and a grey hoodie. I combed my hair and decided that I’ll go “all natural”. ‘’Danielle will be here in 10 minutes Ally’’ Liam shouted, so I could hear him ‘’I’m coming’’ I said and grabbed my phone. Just in case. I slowly walked downstairs and smiled at Liam. He was looking at me as if he could see me but not actually see me. Do you know what I mean? Like a blind man who can’t see but at the same time he can see… okay I’m just making it harder. Forget about it. ‘’Are you fighting with yourself in your head again?’’ Liam asked, he knew me too well ‘’maybe.’’ I said and winked. ‘’Liam what if Danielle doesn’t like me?’’ I said a bit scared ‘’just be yourself and she’ll love you’’ Liam said to me and then we hear that the bell ring ‘’I’ll go’’ Liam said and I waited in the livening room. I was too nervous so I got up and went into the kitchen for some snacks and drinks. I heard her voice while she was saying hello to Liam and asked him some questions ‘’Allision… Um sorry I mean Ally come, Danielle is here’’ Liam said a bit louder ‘’I’m coming.’’ I said and just left everything on the kitchen counter.  I slowly walked into the livening room where I saw Danielle and Liam all cuddly and just sweet loving couple. ‘’Khm’’ I said and smiled. Liam quickly got up and smiled at me. ‘’Danielle this is my sister Allison but she prefers to be called Ally’’ he pointed at me ‘’Ally, this is Danielle my girlfriend for some time now’’ he said and pointed at her ‘’nice to finally meet you Ally.’’ She politely said and smiled ‘’nice to meet you too’’ I said and smiled back. ‘’well now that we all know each other let’s talk a bit’’ Liam proposed and sat back on the sofa, Danielle sat next to him and I sat on the sofa-chair. ‘’Liam told me so much about you Ally.’’ Danielle said ‘’really?’’ I asked surprised. Liam isn’t the type of a human who likes to gossip ‘’he wasn’t  gossiping, he wanted me to know how special you are to him’’ she answered ‘’thank you Liam’’ I said and smiled ‘’but he might told me some things…’’ she slowly said and laughed. I tried to stay calm, I don’t like people teasing me ‘’what things?’’ I said a bit mad at her ‘’that you can’t stand Harry. ‘’ she said and smiled to me ‘’well that isn’t quite the truth’’ I said back and gave her a bit mean look ‘’but Ally you said…’’ Liam interrupted Danielle ‘’I said that I can’t stand his teasing and hitting on me all the time!’’ I shouted at him ‘’Allison could you calm down for god sakes’’ he said to me looking at me ‘’well I said I’ll try to be a better sister but if she is gonna tease me and not be nice to me how can I like her?’’ I shouted back, forgetting that Danielle was here. I saw Liam’s pain in his eyes, but I’m way to stubborn to take back my words ‘’just enjoy your evening with her’’ I said and tried to leave ‘’Ally please don’t go’’ he said, I stopped ‘’why shouldn’t I go?’’ I asked him and my eyes were burning, they were full of tears ‘’why Liam? Why?’’ I asked again. ‘’Cos you’re my little princes’’ he said ‘’Liam should I go? I don’t like this arguing because of  me’’ Danielle said and got up ‘’I’m not you’re little princes, I’m 17 for god sake! Just stay and enjoy. I’m going out’’ I said and left the room with tears in my eyes. I messed up again. Why am I so dumb? Such a bitch? Ughh I hate myself! I saw someone running after me. I thought it was some fans or that man from the park again so I started to walk faster, I almost started running. ‘’Allsion! Ally!’’ I heard screams. I stopped. It was Danielle. What the hell does she wants? I ignored her screams and just started walking again. ‘’Ally stop please.’’ She said when she finally caught me.  ‘’Tell me why should I stop? Why?’’ this is to dramatic for my life. I put up with the drama since I was 14. At the age of 15 my dad left, the half year later my mum and John started dating. And Liam found Danielle. ‘’Look Danielle you seem very nice, I love you for being such support to my brother. But that’s it. Now go back to Liam and have a nice evening. Okay?’’ I said to her. ‘’Well I wish we would be friends. I’ll go. Just know that if you want to give our friendship another chance I’m prepared to forget this’’ she smiled and started walking to my house. Well maybe I will. I just don’t know what to do with my life. It’s just full of fake people and drama. I grabbed my phone and opened twitter. I saw a huge amount of hate tweets towards me. Why?  I opened Tweet Longer and started typing like crazy ‘’Why are you hating on me? What have I done? You really think I don’t have feelings? I like things, people and I also dislike people and things. You are all jealous cos Liam is my brother but life with a superstar isn’t as simple as it seems. I have more fake friends than there are  fish in the sea, I get hated on for having an OPINION, I get hated if I do something that you all don’t like. I tell Liam about you guys. And just now I decided something. HATE ON ME all you want, don’t expect follow backs, replaying or anything from me. I’ll tweet whatever the hell I want it’s my twitter anyway. I can change into a fan account for a dog if I decided to.  I wish you lotsa happiness in your life. ‘’ I pressed tweet and put the phone in my pocket. i am so stupid and stubborn.

*1 hour later*

I am so stupid and stubborn. I can’t believe myself! How could I let myself to fuck up my life so bad? Like really. Why do I have to make things so complicated? I need to apologize to Danielle and Liam. I really should, and to my nice tweeps. I grabbed my phone again and tweeted ‘’you lovely tweeps who are always nice to me. I love you all so much : ) xx ‘’ yes this is werid. You got it all right. I’m a very complicated person, and I blame it on my teen hormones. That wasn’t nice what, I’m usually nice to everyone and I like to see a person happy or smile beacus eof me. Today I did complete opposite. I made 3 people sad. I felt horrible. I first phoned Harry ‘’Hello?’’ I heard his sleepy voice ‘’Harry. Amm… I was thinking if you want to go for a drink. I would like to talk to you’’ I said unsure if I’m doing the right thing ‘’ammm…. Yeah…amm… sure’’ Harry said and then just like that hang up on me. I texted him ‘’Starbucks at 6’’ he didn’t replay. I started to run towards the bus stop to catch the bus. I really messed up my life big time. I keep saying that to myself but I don’t do anything about it. Strange isn’t it? The bus stopped in front of Starbucks, I got off the bus and tried to find Harry. Suddenly someone covered my eyes. I froze and hoped that it was Harry. But I was wrong.