CHAPTER 6
This night is filled with my foolish regrets and I hope it reaches heaven. My prayers in tears all night and I hope it reaches in your heart.
I didn't know I'd be like this.
That smile you left with me is still left in my heart. And honestly, I still need to receive love.
But I took it all for granted. Just to give you all the love and give you all my attention.
Your gaze. Your small gestures.. everything.
This feeling I've kept hidden, keeps slipping out.
I hated it.
I hated that I still don't erase you.
"Mom!"
Your son is my only way, yet I can't reach heavens.
Maybe this fragile heart can't just live a masterpiece alone in this earth.
"Mommy, wake up.."
He begged. He's called out for me. I've given not much. I can't recover. Help me figure out why.. why can't I leave this man alone.
"Oh, thank God! She's awake!"
"Carlisle, get up."
"You savage as fuck!"
"I just wanted her to wake up and I'm savage?"
With half open mouth, I tried to say a word.
"Mommy," he cried out.
Because of the of cracked voice, I turned out feeling my own sweat and tears on my face.
"Leave the room,"
It was Travis.
"A'right-"
"You stay."
I haven't heard anything after that except when he talked.
"Mommy, mommy.."
I heard him fell on the ground.
I'm sorry, I can't catch enough to save you, I whispered.
"Amethon,"
"Dad, bitawan mo 'ko. Si mommy.. dad, my mom.. my mom is d-dying.. dad.."
Tears can't stop.
I'm alive. But they say, barely breathing.
I tried to run from this reality. And now that it can't follow me anymore, I feel like it's pulling me back.
Hindi na ako hinahabol ng kamatayan.
But I'm weak. I can't pretend to be strong and cold.
My surface is getting warmer that it touched my heart a bit and it's willing to hug it even tighter if I just said, yes.
"Mom, no!"
"Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love, when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone. All of doubt, suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer.."
