CHAPTER 11
I don't care about the body pain. Dahil wala ng mas sasakit pa sa pangyayaring, uuwi ka ng bahay at may inaasahang sasalubong na matatamis na ngiti at nakaka-enganyong mga tawa.
But it won't happen again. I've been waiting for it to happen. Pero luha ang tanging tumagas sa aking mga pisngi.
I know it hurts. But I try to let it go until there's nothing left. I breath it out until I can't catch it anymore.
Pero masakit pa rin dahil literal na mag-isa na lang ako.
Who will understand me? Who will hold my hand? Who won't let go of me?
No one, but myself. Pero ako mismo, kinakalaban ang sarili ko sa sariling laban.
Kaya ko pa ba? Hindi na. Hindi na yata.
I'm so empty. I don't know if I can release a power from within.
Even my emotional powers gave up on me that moment.
I know I'm overacting, but no one understand my feels.
I feel anxious at this point that my family is not beside me.
Naiingayan ako sa kanila. But at the end of the day, I won't easily go to sleep because I always think, my family left that's why there's no loud voices anymore.
An in this special day of my life, I have found out it is no long special to me. I wanna curse this day to death just so it won't be remembered, but I'm not that selfish.
I'm broke as fuck and I can't mend it alone because I can't leave the love and pain. For so that love only can heal my pain.
"Ma'am,"
"Mm,"
I started walking as the media cameras came flashing into my face.
I did not mind it as they did not asked how am I feeling deep down my soul.
"What happened to your company?"
"Bakit unti-unti na po itong bumabagsak, Miss Ferreas?"
But most especially broke my heart is hearing my companions.
"Where's Amethon? Is his dad's gone, too-"
"Saan po napunta si Travis?"
"Your cousins, Ma'am?"
"Were they also gone?"
"Won't they come back?"
"Hindi na kayo babalikan-"
"Get out of my sight."
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but is it true? Mag-isa ka na lamang daw? And you are about to be out of this company for kill-"
"I warned you. Not my goddamn fault."
Wala akong paki-alam kahit nakaupo na siya sa sahig at dumudugo ang labi.
Say it to me when it is proven.
"Ma'am-"
"Get out."
"You look pretty good mess, Miss Ferreas."
I looked at him with my stares.
He whispered something that made my secretary leave.
"Stop giving me those stares, Carlisle."
I did not mind him and continue shitting on my computer.
"Because your eyes look sadder that way."
Nilingon ko siya.
The pain is building up inside of me. So much time had passed. When we can meet again, my freaks? Can you come through?
