War of Hormone

N.O

It's maybe a two-minutes walk to Namjoon's apartment. A two-minutes walk that feels like just a few seconds and yet is enough time for Jin to regret each and every life decision that has lead him to this point in his life where he is right now. They really did stop at a bank on their way and Namjoon again asked Jin if he really wants to go through with this. Jin doesn't want to but didn't say a word. That was probably the last moment he could have said no. He could have apologies to Namjoon and they could have walked back to that coffee shop and maybe try to have a sensible conversation and figure something out. But Jin just weakly nodded and continued following Namjoon.

He also lives in one of the nice apartments in Hongdae, similar to the one Jin lives in by himself, probably Namjoon's parents are paying for it, that just seems to be the thing with most of the rich brats now. They don't wast a lot of time upon entering Namjoon's place. Jin doesn't even get a chance to really look around but it seems a little messy, Namjoon's shoes are all over the hallway, a collection of coats is hanging from crooked hooks on the wall that look like he made them himself and there are books all over the place, in shelves, on top of a drawer and also in small stacks on the floor. Namjoon just quickly takes off his shoes and gestures Jin to do the same. He doesn't even offer him slippers or anything. Well, he wouldn't be wearing them long so there is no real point to it anyway.

They go straight to Namjoon's bedroom, a surprisingly neat room compared to the messy hallway. It's a small room with not much in it, a normal sized bed, a writing desk, a wardrobe that has a couple of coats hanging on even more crooked hooks attached to the side and a couple of drawers next to the bed. The bed is made and Jin is somewhat expecting that Namjoon will push him onto it and start tearing off his clothes right away. But instead, Namjoon just sits down on his bed and gently pats the spot next to him. Jin follows his offer without saying a word.

"You can still say that you do not want to do this. You know we can just continue talking. I know that you're proud but maybe you just have to accept that this situation has gone a little out of control and you can't handle that by yourself anymore. I'm not saying that you incapable of doing this on your own, honestly, after hearing your story you fascinate me even more. I admire that you've come this far, but this is not the life you wanted, is it? You don't want to do this right?"

Namjoon's voice sounds a lot calmer than it did before, he doesn't seem mad, if anything he seems almost frustrated by how stubborn Jin is. Although Seokjin has his eyes on the floor, watching how his toes draw circles in the soft material of the carpet he can feel Namjoon's eyes on him the entire time he is talking. Namjoon is right and yet he is wrong. Yes, Seokjin doesn't want to be here right now. And yes, maybe this whole thing is getting a little out of hand. But there is one thing that Namjoon is really wrong about. Jin chose this life. And he would do it over and over again.

"Stop acting all compassionate", Seokjin mutters without lifting his head. "You are supposed to be the asshole here. You're supposed to be some disgusting old dude that likes to watch a young boy jack off and would do anything to fuck me if you had the chance."

"Is that how you pictured me?", Namjoon asks with a chuckle. For the first time, Seokjin really looks up from the floor and catches Namjoon smiling at him with those amazing dimples showing on his face more than ever before and his eyes curiously looking at him.

"Sometimes. I guess that's how I picture most of those watching. You know, like some old disgusting perverts who call me their pretty princess. Or some rich snobs that want to cheat on their wives with a younger boy, without having to actually cheat. You know, people like that. I mean, I obviously know that there are a few younger boys. Shy gay boys that just come to watch because they think I'm hot. Maybe even some girls or women, I don't know. But you know, I think the people that actually donate are mostly the disgusting old guys and the rich snobs. Because those are obviously the ones with the money for it. Maybe I expected you to be one of them." That is only half of the truth. The other half is that Jin sometimes liked to imagine that RM was one of the shy gay boys, maybe a rich one, but still a boy rather than some perverted adult. Handsome, maybe around Jin's age or a little younger. Kind of like the coffee shop boy. Namjoon is just that and yet he isn't.