My Life With Billie Joe Armstrong (discontinued)

Ch 14: When she cries

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️TRIGGER-WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF MUTILATION AND/OR SELF HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED OR IF IT WILL MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE; THERE WILL BE AN AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END TO SUMM UP THE CHAPTER FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO SKIP TO THE END⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

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Saddies POV:

"Why don't you try and sing with us at our next show?" Tre blurted. I froze and realized what matt had arranged to happen. It had been a few minutes of silence and me sobbing before anyone had spoke, and now I suppose it was my turn to speak as well.

"Not to be rude, but logic says if my anxiety goes way up at the thought of performing in front of 5 people, who are family mind you, what makes you think I would want to in front of thousands whom I don't even know?" I turned to face them all and saw Joey and Jacob standing in the far far distance in the house hallway.

"Just get stoned?" Mike said. I sighed once more.

"Its gonna take more than being stoned, thats what you guys don't get...and may never understand either. It. isn't just anxiety; I was bullied a lot in school; chorus, band, art....anything I enjoyed or saw myself having a small chance of success in....they told me Id never make it big. I know it's the past, but my mom also told me things....never to quit my day job, to stop having hopes because life wasn't fair..." I let my thoughts wander and never finished my statement; I could feel my eyes glossing back over with tears and sighed a shaky breath. 

"You can't just give that up though, All of billie's kids are musically talented and he has the family band along with green day..." Tre said. That made me want to scream. So because I was his child, I was therefore inclined to be a musician???

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said in a tone not too friendly. Just then I heard a loud hiss and meow, along with a thud and constant meowing.

"Havoc!?" I stood and saw Jacob standing by himself now, joey farther back bent down. Everyone glanced where i was looking and I proceeded to run over.

"What happened???" I asked In tears, seeing her right back paw was angled oddly and she wouldn't stop meowing.

"Why don't you ask jacob?" Joey huffed, glaring. I slowly turned too face him, tears now streaming once more, and everyone watched from the piano as I stood.

"What. Happened. To. My. Baby." I said, my tone low but not threatening (yet).

"Your dumb ass cat wouldn't stop rubbing my leg so I kicked it away from me. Its just a dumb fucking cat." I grabbed him by his shirt, pinning him to the wall as everyone else started saying for me to calm down and let go, but I couldn't hear them over the rage. 14 or not, all she wanted was to be pet or picked up, and he kicked her? Thats animal abuse. Its rude. Its wrong; and I was NOT going to let him get away with such actions.

"You little FUCK. How would you like someone seven times your size to come along and kick YOU into a wall huh? How about I ram your tiny fucking skull into the nearest door and see how you fucking like it? SHES NOT EVEN FULLY GROWN YET YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PROBABLY BROKE HER GODDAMN PAW! You know a cat rubbing on you MEANS THEY JUST WANT FUCKING LOVE!?! HOW DUMB. ARE YOU!!!!"

"SHE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE! SHE IS OF NO IMPORTANCE TO ME! AND SO CAN YOU FOR ALL I CARE! MY LIFE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO US ALL A FUCKING FAVOR AND SLIT. YOUR. FUCKING. WRISTS!!!"  I paused and felt my heart sink in my stomach; pain turned to sorrow and then nothingness. In that moment I realized Jacob would never adjust to another older sibling, let alone more people, animals, or anything else that may change his life from how he wanted it. I dropped him as rough as I could and turned to carefully pick havoc up, tears streaming still.