My Life With Billie Joe Armstrong (discontinued)

22:

Saddies POV:

It was late at night when I woke up—not from being warm, or randomly to turn over...but because in my dream I was having a panic attack....and that triggered me to PHYSICALLY have one. After I sat up and tied my hair back, my breathing out of pace and my body trembling—which...made it quite fucking hard to keep my hair out of my face so I could tie it back—I hugged my knees inward and tears began to stream due to my lack of control. I should rephrase—not a lack of control, From not being able to control it any further.
My dream consisted of me going home, but to my mother pregnant. And she had the kid, and I was a big sister to a girl. But due to her parenting—the ancoholosn, the neglect...and me not being capable of living on my own financially, the state took her. My mom blamed me again. Throwing bottles. Calling me pathetic...even making sarcastic remarks about how much I cared or how big a help I was. Then locking me out without car keys in a terrible storm; no coverage, no food, not even a coat.
I kept telling myself it was just a dream, but the more it played in my head the more real it felt....after all, it was something she would do. 100%. And without a second thought, too.
She could play a part of a parent so we'll when people were around or when we were out, but behind closed doors and blinds....

Soon my crying turned to muffled sobbing and I was a mumbling mess, my knees up to my face, one arm holding my legs the other over my head, and I was lost in my own sad thoughts. I was unwanted from her for anything other than money. That was it. I was probably going to be sent back come summers end. I was cheated on by people I thought would care...
And Matt would probably play me again if I wasn't careful....
I let out a louder sob in the midst of trying to catch my breath and my hands balled into fists as I pulled myself closer into a ball.

~~~~~~~~

Billies POV:

At two thirty when you can't sleep, but you're a musician, you fiddle with music. I was downstairs from the kids rooms playing an unplugged electric guitar so it wouldn't be too loud, creating random melodies and just fucking around with notes. I paused because I thought I heard talking, but soon realized it was...crying. Louder at moments than others.

It was Saddie...

I stopped, putting my guitar onto a stand, and quietly walked upstairs before I had stopped in front of her door, listening to see if she was saying anything. I caught random bits, like "it was just a dream" and "calm down" but after moments of sobbing I heard her insulting herself. Something about her mom being right. Being a failure.

I knocked lightly and heard her gasp and cough immediately after, followed by a stumble to stand before her door unlocked and she answered. Her face was pale and her hair was knitted and a mess, it also looked sweater or damp. Her eyes were glossy and puffy, her nose and cheeks were red and her nose was also glossy.

"What're-"

"Don't ask me why I'm up. I'm your dad and I'm a musician. Why are you up...upset?" I hesitated with my words and I saw her bottom lip tremble before she bit it and cleared her throat, breaking eye contact.

"I just had a bad dream. I'm okay though." I wasn't buying it, so I crossed my arms and she sighed.

"It...was about my mom. And how she treats me..." she was looking at her feet now and her arms were crossed, her hands cupping her arms right above her elbows. She spoke so softly and timidly...like I was going to get upset. I uncrossed my arms and sighed.

"Well...come on ." I turned and waved her to follow.

"Where?.."

"On a car drive. We'll go to a gas station and pick up some ice cream or something. And just talk and drive." I turned back and saw her wiping her face hastily with the smallest smirk—almost unnoticeable even. Like she wanted to talk, but didn't want it to seem like a big deal. As if talking about her emotions would bring a punishment or a form of misery.

We quietly made our way downstairs and outside, and once we were in the car she had hugged her knees up to her chest.

"Are...are you happy?" I asked, hesitant. We had begun driving and with my question, She shot me a look before looking back to the road. 

"Well, a part of me is very happy. A part of me is lost.."

"Lost on what?"

"Going back.." the color drained from her fact with the words she spoke and I sighed.

"She's your legal guardian-"

"Not after 18." She snapped, glaring. I sighed. She was right, I was listening to her mothers excuses because her mom wanted her home. But I wanted her happy.

And home is where your heart is, is it not?

"Well....okay. We'll plan for you to stay. But I hope you're prepared to fight that battle in a few months." She nodded and we had passed a gas station.

"Do you want to just drive?...I know gas is expensive but car rides keep me...happy..." she was genuinely relaxed as she looked out of her window and spoke. I smirked, knowing she couldn't see.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

A/N: this is one is a short chapter but it's more of a filler for details as well as a huge turning point in Saddies life!!! What does billie mean by fight this battle? How will her and Jacob get along now? What will become of her and Matt? Will she ever sing on stage????

I'm sorry it's short but enjooyyyyy

Xoxo