ROSES & THORNES

Confessions pt 2

"Abby, if you can please sit outside. I want to speak to the boys alone." Mrs. Winters had allowed Kim to come with me. I was so embarrassed. I knew I was going to have to explain a whole bunch of things that I'd rather forget about. We were sitting just outside her office. As of right now, no adults knew that Trevor had been hitting me, but they soon would.

I was scared to death. Sooner or later I was going to have to go into that room, I would be forced to look him in the eyes, to sit in the same small place as him. I knew he wanted to kill me now. He'd promised that he would if anyone found out. I wanted to believe that I was safe now, but I couldn't.

Ten minutes later, Mrs. Winters opened her door. Jeb and Trevor stepped out. His head was hung low. She had them go sit in the front office. Two security guards followed them to make sure nothing further more happened. Miss Marx." She said gently. Embarrassed. I looked up at her. Her eyes were gentle. "Would you like to come into my office for a moment?"

No. "Um okay." What choice did I really have? I stood up slowly, keeping my eyes on the floor.

She closed the door quietly and took a seat in her chair. "Abby honey, know that you can tell me any and everything, I won't judge. Okay?" I nodded. "We're going to ask your parents to come up to the school."

"No!" I jumped. The last thing I wanted to do was face them.

She looked at me sadly. "Abby, we have to honey. It's protocol."

"Okay well, can we put it off?"

She sighed. "I'll hold off for as long as we can. Now, can we talk about you?"

My eyes wandered around the room. "What do want to know." Some of the old me still lived. I wanted to cut straight to the point. I planned on being brave, my hands were shaking underneath the desk.

"Well. Lets start with why Jeb and Trevor got into a fight." I was sure she knew, and you could barely call it a fight. It was more of attempted murder.

"Because."

"Because why?" She prompted.

I sighed. "Because, he hates Trevor." I was so scared.

"Why do you think he hates Trevor?"

I was trying my best to keep from crying. "Because."

"Because?" She prompted. She was patient.

"Because," I said shakily. Those three words wouldn't roll of my tongue.

"Abby, you know you can tell me." Each blow that I received replayed in my mind as if I were watching a movie. Him yelling, me crying. I let the first tear slip with out my permission. "Abby honey-"

"Because he hits me okay!" My voice exploded. I laid my head down on her desk and cried. She put a hand on my back and rubbed in circles.

I cried and cried. I was forever broken, crushed, damaged. Physically and emotionally. Ever since I'd moved to Sedona, I had to endure heart break after heart break. Trial after trial. It all just kept adding on. I just wanted to forget everything. I wanted to remember nothing at all, not even my own name, Abby Marx no longer existed. She died a long time ago.

I sat up and wiped my tears. "I'm sorry."

She leaned forward, taking my hand in hers. "Abby, sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry for." Her eyes were sad. "How long were you with Jeb?" Here we go.

"Four weeks, we were close before we actually started dating."

"And ho was that relationship?"

Perfect, wonderful, sweet, all until I found out about his secrets. "Fine."

"And Trevor?"

I took a steady, shaky breath. "More then a month."

"How were things in the beginning?"

Spontaneous, outrageous, fun. Until he started hitting me. "It was fine too."

"When did it get bad?" Her forehead creased.

"Not too long ago."

"What happened?"

I let another single tear fall. "I...um, I...found out he was um...cheating on me. And then," I took shaky breath before continuing. "We got into an argument, I turned to walk out. He grabbed me by the arm. I told him he was hurting me. He back handed me." Each sentence was short and clipped.

Mrs. Winters eyes were rimmed red. It was just as hard listening to it as it was telling it. "Was that it?" I shook my head. "What else happened love?"

I gulped. Another tear falling. I kept my eyes on my shoes. "He shoved me against a wall and pulled me by, by my hair. He kissed me and then forced my hands above my head, putting his hands under my shirt."

I was crying now. Mrs. Winters gasped. "Abby, did he...did he-"

"Almost, but no." I rubbed my arms out of habit.

"Is that all that he's done to you?" I shook my head and she made a funny noise in the back of her throat. "Abby, I know this is hard for you to do, but I need you to tell me everything."

I took a steady breath. "He has um, shoved me against walls, punched me in the face in the nose and mouth...yanked and grabbed me by the hair, slapped me, pushed me off a rock and made me twist my ankle, made me hit my head against wall, the floor, and...he's he's kicked me a few times." I let out a shaky breath. There. I'd finally done it, gotten everything that's happened off my chest.

Mrs. Winters had tears in her eyes. Mine were every where in the room but on her. "When, when uh was the last time that any of this happened? And how long has it been happening?"

I took a long pause. "Y-yesterday; not too long."

She hung her head a little. "Abby I'm so sorry." She squeezed my hand. "You could have come to anyone at the school. We would have helped you." She said quietly. "Now I don't want to, but  I have to ask this, I see the gash on your lip but, where is the rest of the evidence of physical abuse?"

Are you kidding? The fact that I was wearing a sweatshirt when it was almost 70 degrees outside should have been evident enough. I slowly took Jeb's shirt off, wincing as I did. I had on nothing but a tank top on underneath, my pale skin open to the world.

She took a look at my bruised arms, fresh black and blue ones over yellowing ones. She saw the almost faded ring around my neck, the yellow ones around my wrist. Giving her the entire truth of the situation, I pulled my tank top up. Revealing my purple and black stomach.

She gasped. "Oh my god Abby!" She stood from her chair and came around to my side, examining it closer. She tried to be as gentle as possible but I cringed anyway. "Abby. This is serious, you need to get this looked at!"

"No." I whispered. I didn't want anyone seeing what he did to me. It was bad enough that Kim and Jeb knew. I wanted Trevor to get help, not go to jail.

"Abby, look at you. He needs to be in prison."

I shook my head, standing to my feet. "You don't get it!"

"Abby, it's okay, you don't have to defend him anymore, he won't hurt you."

"No! You don't get it! Trevor is sick! He needs help!"

She shook her head. "Abby, what he did cannot be justified."

"This why I didn't want you to know! He needs help! Real help! You know nothing about him or his past!" I wasn't defending him. I just needed her to know that before they sent him to jail, someone should look into him. He needed help. Sending him to prison wasn't going to help. He would get out later and go back to hitting people if they didn't get to the root of it.

She nodded. "Okay. Okay, we'll try to help him. Okay? Just please, stop trying to protect him." She hugged me gently as I cried into her shoulder. I'd finally let all of it out.