ROSES & THORNES

Go for it

Jeb squezed my hand reassuringly. Trevor was in Mrs. Winters office along with the guidance counselor and other important people. I was nervously waiting the arrival of my parents. Kim had gone back to class.

I just wanted all of this to be over. I didn't like being the center of attention, and I certainly didn't want people feeling sorry for me.

Jeb was still sick with rage, he couldn't sit still. I'd tried to talk to him, but he just shook his head. He was upset, and I wasn't sure if he was upset with me or something else. My mind couldn't and wouldn't focus on one subject. I had to start a conversation or I was going to drive myself insane.

"Jeb, I'm sorry."

He turned to look at me. "Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about Abby, nothing."

"No, Jeb. I...I should have said something the first time it happened."

He took my face in his hands. "Abby, everyone does what they do for a reason. Like what I did. I did because I...I did it because I love you, and I will gladly do it again."

When he said those three little words, I tuned out everything else. I was so sure that we were done for good and the thought scared me because I wanted nothing more then to be with him. "You love me?" I could feel my eyes water. It was all that I wanted from the very beginning. I wanted nothing more then to just be wanted, accepted, loved.

He brushed a tear away with his thumb. "Of course I do. I never stopped."

"But Serena-"

"Was a mistake. A bad one from the start."

I smiled sadly. "I guess we all make those." Thinking about Trevor made my heart ache.

"Yeah. We do." Something in his eyes changed. I could see him fighting his self in the inside. His hand lingered on my cheek. I could smell his familiar scent, the comfortable scent that I use to fall asleep to once upon a time. After all that we'd been through, all that I'd been through, I found myself wanting to love him more then ever. In him was a guy that I could love, and he could love me back.

It took a lot for me to get to this realization, a lot more then I wanted to admit, but Jeb had been The One for me right from the start. The moment he first spoke to me was when something had already changed in me. I just hadn't known it at the time.

Even when I was with Trevor I was constantly comparing him to Jeb and to the relationship we had. Even when I was with Trevor, if I saw Jeb in the hallway with Serena, something would nag at me. I didn't know what is was then, but I knew know. My heart had been crying out to what was rightfully mine.

I didn't care that we were sitting in a front office filled with now protective eyes. I didn't care that my parents were on their way to my school because I was physically abused by my boyfriend. I didn't even care that Trevor and I never actually broke up. And mostly, I didn't care that there was a slim chance that he could turn me down. Not even the pain in my body was going to stop me from getting what I wanted. And I wanted Jeb. He didn't have to make the first move, because I did.