ROSES & THORNES

Epilogue

My heart has been through more trials then should be humanly possible. I can pretend with everyone else that i'm the bad ass, no bull chick. But I cannot pretend with myself. My heart sometimes beats achingly as I think about what other, specifically two significant others, have put me through.

Since I moved to Sedona, Arizona, my life has been flipped in more ways then I'd like to think. Before moving here, love was just a word, and boys meant trouble. Now, my own beliefs have come back and slapped me in the face. Taunting, even so much as punishing me. I did what I thought and said I was incapable of. I fell in love.

Jeb. He was the all American boy. The one with the beautiful blue eyes and golden hair. He was athletic and fit, and could easily have the heart of any girl he deemed worthy. He was my complete opposite. And I believe that fate brought us together, and it was fate that I believed would make us last.

When we met at the ravine shortly after I arrived at Sedona, I wasn't supposed to be there. It just so happened that I needed a place to clear my head. And what do you know, Abercrombie was there. He was Abercrombie to me because I was Hot Topic, his exact opposite. His first words to me were, "Come here often?" I took one good look at him in knew he was way beyond my reach. So why even try?

He later surprised me with his charming ways, and boisterous, child-like behavior. He was funny, and I found my self always thinking about him. I didn't know what the heck was happening to me. He'd aroused feelings that I thought were foreign to me.

That day that he kissed me at the lake, I'd experienced something surreal. I used to laugh at the silly girls in movies like the Notebook, but then I found myself experiencing their same happiness. It amazed me how easy well fell in step beside one another, how we joked with one another. It felt as I'd known him forever, he was like an old soul.

Our relationship together was so unbelievable I found it hard to even began to think of it as believable. I was the dark haired beauty who listened to classic Beatles music, wearing nothing but ripped jeans and fish nets. And then there was Jeb. The guy with the deep blue pools and surfer hair.

But, as I'd known from the beginning, things with him were too good to be true. Turns out, everyone has their own secrets. But secretes that were worth sharing didn't stay secret forever. In the end, his secret tore us apart. How could anyone stand to be with someone who lied to them? He was the first guy I ever loved, and though my head let go, my heart didn't.

And then there was Trevor. He was the mysterious fallen angel with the dark eyes and dazzling smile. The perfect match for me. He was outrageous and adventurous. We did things together that Jeb wouldn't have dared to do. Trevor kept me captivated with his shy demeanor and quiet ways. He was like a silent killer, taking you by suprise and holding you against his ways.

And yet, the world chose to punish my fragile heart again. I fell in love with his kind ways and alluring words. Something about him screamed danger, but danger was what I was all about. We were, as it seems, the "match made in heaven". He was dark, edgy, mysterious, exactly the same as me. Except, he had another side to him. He was a passionate writer, striving to be a journalist. He never failed to suprise me.

Even on that heartbreaking day as my heart cried out from the loss of first love, he was there to pick me up. I guess, when it came to Trevor, he was my destiny. The one awaiting me at the fork in the road.

Though I'd learn to love again, that didn't stop the flames of my love for Jeb rekindling. I denied it with everything in me. Trevor was the one I was destined to be with. I was the moth to his flame. Yet, I found myself always comparing Trevor's ways and kisses to Jeb's. I wanted Trevor to be him, when he wasn't. I told my self, and even told him, that I hated him. Jeb was not the one for me, and I just wanted him out of my head.

Turns out, there are more disturbing secrets out there then every lover would like to think. Secrets that could get one hurt, or maybe even killed. The guy I thought I knew, I knew nothing at all about him. There were things about him that even he couldn't explain. Things that would tear us apart for ever.

Trevor was supposed to be the one I was supposed to move on with, to forget the passed with. Turns out he was only there to hurt me, to leave me for dead.

I was beaten and broken by love. My tired, fragile body could take no ore. I'd been hurt by both the guys I love and had no where to turn to. I was lost, with no where in mind to go. I felt battered and forgotten. After going through what I went through with Trevor, I was afraid to ever love again. Afraid to pursue anything. I was in fear of only getting hurt again.

But as it turned out, your destiny was inner changeable, forever changing, while fate was the way things would end from the very beginning. Fate was what you could count on, it would never change, just be put on hold for a while, while you found your way through your destiny. Fate. It was exactly how I wanted things to end.

"Say tarter sauce!"

"Tarter sauce!" We laughed in unison as my father snapped a picture of me, my mom, and Kim. Kim and I both shimmered in beautiful ball gowns.

"Okay, okay. Let the happy couples take their pictures." My dad laughed. My mom had taken picture after picture with us and her bloated belly. She was due in less than a week, and I couldn't wait to meet my baby brother.

"Don't you look lovely tonight." Jeb whispered in my ear as Kim and Kiran took there picture. Jeb had introduced them a while back and they were going strong. Kiran finally got his "sexy goth chic" and we'd developed a brother-sister bond.

"Okay. Jeb, Abby. Your turn!" My mom beamed as Jeb wrapped his strong arms around my waist. The bright light flashed, blinding me for a millisecond. "Okay one more!" We groaned as my mom got the four of us together. "Now say Prom 2012!"

"Are you sure?" Jeb looked into my eyes with his deep blues filled with love. His bare chest made my stomach flutter, how could this beautiful creature belong to me only?

I brought his face back down to mine, kissing him gently on the mouth. It had been the perfect night. We went to dinner with our group of friends, yes I had a group of friends now. We had an amazing time at prom, I loved the look of pure hate on Serena's face when the silly diamond tiara was placed on my head. And now here we were, alone at his house. I couldn't wait for him to get this dress of me.

"Shutup and do what I know your useful for." I grinned and kissed his nose.

"Ouch." He laughed as he put his lips to my neck

I had to say that the cuddling was the best part. I got to feel the warmth of his skin, the beat of his heart as it matched mine perfectly.

"This has to be the best not of my life." I wove my fingers in his.

His phone made a little noise. He ignored it, keeping his eyes on me. Again, the same little annoying tone. "Just get it." I laughed.

He reached towards the floor to retrieve it from his pants pocket. After a moment, he smiled. "Rememberer how you said this was the best night of your life?" I nodded. "Well it's about to get a whole lot better."

"How?" I sat propped up on my elbow.

He gave me a peck on the lips as he tossed me my dress. He pulled his pants back on and plastered s big toothy grin on his face. "Because you're about to be a big sister!"