The Bread Fic

Her

The crusty loaf of bread was weeping in the corner of the shop, for some reason he was never bought and all he really wanted was for a human to take him away and love him forever.

"Tch shut up you little pussy and stop crying" the grouchy tomato with a grey moustache hissed

"You don't understand how I feel- stop bullying me-"

They were interrupted as footsteps made their way over to their section. Then there standing before them was a girl, the most beautiful girl the crusty bread had ever seen.

As if out of a movie, her hair majestically moved from side to side- sike- her hair was all over her face like a birds nest and a bird randomly flew into the shop taking a nice shit on top of her head.

"I think I'm in love" the crusty bread gasped, his non existing heart skipped a beat

The grouchy tomato sighed pulling out a bag of weed and started to smoke it.

"Good luck with that you little bitch" it comments

"Fuck off you mother fucker cock pooper wee wee kaka ding dong" the bread retorts his eyes watching the girl who was looking at the different foods

The tomato pulled out some sunglasses and ignoring the crusty bread started singing NCT 127 boss- still smoking the weed obviously.

The girl walked over to them, her eyes made contact with the crusty bread. Her beady eyes watched him before picking him up.

"I know we just met, but I think I want to get married- you're so beautiful-"

"Wait if we get married, can I get drunk first, and maybe smoke a whole pack of cigarettes before the reception" she asked raising an eyebrow

"Of course Baby" the crusty bread smirked

The grouchy tomatoes cousin from Mauritius screamed

"BITCH USE PROTECTION ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT"

*~*~*~*~*~

So this is a thing I guess, whoever finds this story, enjoy the crack I guess