"What in the fuckery, fucking, fuck is going on in here" the crusty bread exclaimed as he watched Thomas the tank engine and his daughter Medusa playing COD together
"Hey can I adopt your daughter" Thomas asked ignoring the crusty breads words
"The fuck, you can't you crusty hoe, go back to sucking Percy's oily engine you fucking fairy"
"I'll give you a years worth of weed"
"I've already made a better deal with someone else, so you can go piss off"
Thinking about Rory the racing car, the crusty bread made a mental reminder to hit him up later.
Percy flew into the room on a wrecking ball, obviously Miley Cyrus 'wrecking ball' played in the background, for that extra effect.
"Wassup my bitches"
"Oh look it's the fairy's hoe" Medusa exclaimed
"Piss off midget" Percy retorts
Whoa
The room went silent
"What..." Percy asked awkwardly
"You're not crying" The crusty bread said surprised
"I drank five bottles of gin bitch- I think it was six actually fuck if I know" Percy snorts
That made more sense
"Hey babes join us, Medusa and I are playing COD"
"Which one" the train asked getting off his wrecking ball
"Modern warfare 2"
"Sign meh up shistar"
"Oh HeLl no bitChes" Pepe the meme queen screamed entering the room
"Oh fuck it's Pepe" Thomas chocked on expired lemons
"Oh fuck it's Thomas the gay engine"
"Being a gay polar bear is beautiful" He retorts
"oK it AcTuaLly is" Pepe agreed
"Now that's established, get the fuck out of my house before I blast your asses to the moon"
"What the fuck is wrong with you" Thomas snorts
"The real question is, what the fuck is right with you" Medusa pipes in
"Because we all know Pepe- I mean my mum is mental and everything is wrong with her"
Pepe eyes glistened at her daughters words, for they were twisted and beautiful at the same time. Also her words were very much accurate.
"You heard my wife, get the fuck out, or I'll shank ya with a pakora" The crusty bread said deciding to join in the conversation
The ground rumbled, and a earthquake took place, lasting 3 seconds. Two volcanoes erupted during that time as well.
"What the flip was that"
"It was the Chicken God" Pepe whispered getting on her knees
"GET DOWN FUCKING BITCHES AND PRAY" she yelled so loudly that her words appeared on the wall behind her in capital letters
Everyone listened to her and got on their knees and started praying, they didn't know what they were praying for, but they prayed.
Dora was once again creeping, but as she heard Pepes words, she got down on her knees and prayed too, Unfortunately her thirsty followers won't be getting pictures of the family today.
Which was such a flipping shame, and as Kim Kardashian once said, it was tragic.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This bloody chapter is tragic, but I stan the crack that it is
This is what I aspire to be in the future
YOU ARE READING
The Bread Fic
HumorIn which a loaf of bread falls in love with a human Started: I can't remember lol Finished: 22/02/19
