The Bread Fic

Thomas thought bitch, he really thought

Pepe the meme queen and the crusty bread loaf woke up, Pepe had drool slobbered all over her face, she let out a stinky eggy burp before getting out of bed.

The crusty bread sighed watching his beautiful wife leave the room.

He followed her as she made her way down to the kitchen.

Since he was short. He had to sit on one of those baby high chairs. Pepe made them some hash brownies and some coffee spiked with alcohol for breakfast.

"So babes what are we gonna do today" Pepe asked drinking her coffee like a thirsty bitch she was

"Whatever you want to babes"

"How about we watch 50 shades of grey"

"Now you're talking my kind of language" the crusty bread winked

The two of them skipped into the front room, out of nowhere Thomas the tank engine came out from the cupboard, gun blazing with his side hoe Percy, the green irrelevant train.

"Pepe you missed out on this months payment-"

"Bitch shut your mother fucking mouth and go back to sucking Percy's oily engine you flipping fairy"

Percy started crying his eyes out because apparently his engine was oily. Darkness my old friend started to play in the background for that movie affect shit.

"Now you're going to get it" Thomas hissed standing up for his mans

"No now you're going to get it" The crusty bread interrupted pulling out a pink cannon loaded

Before Thomas could reply, the crusty bread fired, and the cannon sent Percy and Thomas to Winnie the poohs house. But Winnie kicked them out afterwards cuz fuck those little weak ass bitches.

"You're so hot" Pepe whispered staring at her husband

"I know I am baby girl" he winked

"Hey we should order from Pepes, I'm hungry" Pepe sighed sitting down on the sofa

"Um isn't that cannibalism because you share the same name" the crusty bread asked

"Oh that's true, I'm not hungry anymore"

"Where's the 50 shades of grey CD, didn't you have it framed on your wall" The crusty bread asked searching for it

"I'm sure I did"

Thomas the tank engine jumped in through the window with his side hoe Percy.

"How the fuck did you guys get back so quickly" Pepe scowled

"I used friendship is magic bitch, anyways pay up for the drugs or I'll kill ya-"

Percy pulled out his laptop and took out the missing 50 shades of grey CD. The crusty bread saw this and was livid.

The bread didn't waste time, spilling Lego's on the floor, the trains yelled in pain, as their stupid looking wheels went over the Lego's.

"Fuck you two, we'll be back, and next time you will pay Pepe" Thomas hissed

"Yeah, Yeah, get the fuck out you pussy" Pepe replied casually

The two trains legged it to mickeys mouse club house.

"Now darling, shall we watch our film" The crusty bread spoke

"Of course hoe"

The two lovers sat on the sofa watching the movie, what they didn't notice was Dora the explorer once again, taking photos of them and uploading them onto her Instagram.

Her post sent shockwaves across the planet, peoples future was brighter, their grades improved, acne no longer existed, acne who? Bitch where, people were cured of cancer and coming back from the dead, her post was so lejindary and left everyone jungshooked.

Boots sighed and pulled out some weed, passing a joint to swiper the fox.

"That girl is something else" Boot said speaking about Dora his main bitch

"Yeah she is, her stalking ability is amazing"

"Alright gay boys we are leaving" Dora exclaimed taking out some baby oil and pouring it over herself

The shady trio left... only to be shitted on by woody from toys story.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Comment some dumb ish please a hoe is desperate yeeeeet