The mentally ill parents, the frisky cars and the gay polar bear trains gathered around in Mickey mouses drug- I mean club house. Mickey allowed them to use his crib as a meeting place seeing that Donald was crying like a pussy ass bitch and Donald was his brother from another mother- so he had to let it slide.
"N-now that I think about it the kidnapper was oddly square shaped" Donald sniffled
"Square shaped... hmm I wonder who that could be" Pepe says
"We haven't met anyone square shaped before have we" the crusty bread wondered
"Well think hard because my gaming buddy was kidnapped- who the freckled fuck am I supposed to play COD with now" Thomas the tank engine whined
"You could play with me" Percy mumbled
"Baby we play a different game.... in bed- I'll play with you later" Thomas replied with a smirk
Percy blushed and downed a glass of gin
"You said that the person was oddly square shaped, the only person that I know that is shaped like that is...." Rory comments with a dramatic pause
"Well who is it" Mater asked with a frown
"Do that drum roll thing otherwise he's not going to reveal who it is" Lightning McQueen says shyly
Rory placed a kiss on Lightning side window.
"Bitch where's my kiss" Mater says with a pout
Rory gave him a kiss too
"Oh for fuck sake, go fuck some other time" The crusty bread exclaims
"Bitch a kiss does not equal to fucking you dumbass ping ting ding dong" Rory replied rolling his eyes
"Knowing you three it starts with a simple kiss, and the next thing you know you're getting frisky on the starting line of the rainbow road race in Mario Kart Wii, causing Mario to kick you off the side of the track, just so they could start their bloody race" Donald Duck says
"Well that's really oddly specific" Pepe snorts
"Because I witness the entire scarring thing" Donald shivered
"Y'all are wild- Hey Percy maybe we should do that sometime- but not on Rainbow road, maybe Peaches Garden or something- Na we gotta fuck in Luigi's circuit that's where it's at" Thomas says
"Hmm Luigi Circuit" Percy says
"Oh my god let's do the drum roll thing already so Rory can reveal who he thinks the bloody kidnapper is" Pepe says
The group do their special drum roll and Rory decided to clear his throat for that extra dramatic effect.
"I think the kidnapper is... Spongebob Squarepants"
*~*~*~*~*
Medusa was tied up in a high chair. The kidnapper took off their mask. It turns out that hobo looking motherfucker Spongebob was her kidnapper.
"Oh fuck it's you- what do you want" Medusa asked
"I'm going to kill you for what you did to me"
"What did I do to you again"
"I don't know- BUT I HAVE TO KILL YOU"
Patrick star made his appearance known as he passed a joint of the good stuff to spongebob. He was singing That good good, by Luhan.
Surprisingly Patrick had vocals of an angel so Medusa didn't actually mind him singing.
Medusa couldn't help but sigh, wondering how in the Matryoshka she was going to get out of there.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The squad guns blazing broke into Patrick Stars rock looking house. According to Rory, Spongebob would be there.
They searched every nook and cranny of the house, but to no avail. The house was empty, and was as dark as Changbin's soul.
"Mmm maybe he's in his house, the pineapple next door to Squidwards house" Rory says with a frown
So the squad sneakily break into the pineapple house and to there surprise there was no one home either.
Rory began thinking of where else they could be. Then it hit him like firetruck.
"THEY'RE AT THE FUCKING KRUSTY KRABS"
The group found a kangaroo named Chan chilling outside of the pineapple house, who kindly jumped them all the way to the Krusty Krab.
Pepe made sure to pay the kind, handsome kangaroo. Who then yeeted back to Australia.
The squad entered the krusty krab, it was empty with only Squidward at the till sleeping.
"Ok so my guess is that they are in Mr Krabs office" Rory whispered
"Where is Mr Krabs though" Thomas asked
"I don't know"
"Oi isn't that him over there" Percy whispered
The group look at the red crab leaving the toilet. He was singing about money and was heading for his office.
"Baby we gotta distract him" Thomas whispered before grabbing Percy
Percy and Thomas jumped on Mr Krabs, and dragged him out of the Krusty Krabs all the way to the Chum Bucket.
The rest of the group went into the Mr Krab's office, where indeed Spongebob and Patrick was present. They were force feeding Medusa Krabby Patties.
"WHAT THE CRACK ARE YOU DOING YOU RATTY ASS BITCH" Pepe shouted
Then an all out war began. The frisky cars were beating up Patrick. The crusty bread and Pepe were fighting Spongebob, while Donald Duck was helping Medusa get out of the high chair she was tied to.
A Boom Shaka Laka Boom shaka laka, shawty imma party till the sundown, shawty give me whip-whiplash, Oi Felix come here brooooo moment later the war was ended
Sehun's tears from when Seungri sat on his lap flooded the Krusty Krab and the squad escaped safely back home. Not before stealing the rest of the weed Spongebob had of course.
Spongebob and Patrick were arrested by the Paw patrol and taken to jail.
Things were now all Gucci, especially because Dora had got the whole thing on recording and posted it to her YouTube account. It became YouTube's most liked and viewed video in 0.000000000000000000001 milli second.
F I N
*~*~*~*~*~*
We stan a finished story
YOU ARE READING
The Bread Fic
HumorIn which a loaf of bread falls in love with a human Started: I can't remember lol Finished: 22/02/19
