Before note: Ok, I'm always going to have a beforre and end note now. So anyways, I won't be writing in this for a while because I'm going to see family and an old friend. But anyways here chapter 3! Enjoy!
I fell to the ground. Action time baby! The guy tackled me down down down! Then I felt like it was either my life or death. So, I knew what I had to do. Fart. I let out a spary and the man fainted. I sprinted away and then had to go potty. I went into his house and left marks. Hehehe. Then I just left to go home like nothing happened. Though something did happen!
"Mommy! Daddy! Are you guys BETTER now?!'' I asked. Mary came running, sprinting, jogging, breathing, breaking, running down the stairs.
"Wow! That was one long run. Probably the longest I've ever done. Going down the stairs is harder then it looks! Anyways, mom needs more rest, for she has an interview tomorrow. Then getting SMASHED by dad does NOT help any." Mary said panting.
I walked over to dad. "Excuse me mr! What has gotten into you. It's like you don't even care! It's like all the sudden I'm the dad and Mary is the mom. Maybe that's how it should be! To your face's room RIGHT now! Other wise if I change my mind, I may fart in there first!'' I yelled. I had Mary escort mom upstairs. I felt bad for mom because she did nothing! Dad was being a poo head and smashed her four times! He was going to be punished oh so fricking bad! Oh well. I'm going over to Bella's. No I'm not. I can't go over like this! I have to go potty first! I got a book that I'm reading. I walked walked into bathroom and read while pooped! It was quite magical!
"MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I"M GOING OVER TO BELLA'S!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled. With that i left. When I walked in, I saw Bella shaving her legs. It's about time! Her legs could have made pants with all that hair! Gosh. Freak, but I love it. I snoke up behind her and, uh duh, she couldn't she me because I'm a freaking vampire!
"Falling from cloud nine!!!" Bella sung awfully!
This was it! I had to end MY pain. I walked up behind her. Her shinny hair. Smooth, pretty, brown. Oh well. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I yelled. Bella fell into the bath tub and saw screaming. You know what Bella?! You just get to scared too easily. I love it. Her father ran in to see me looking at Bella smiling. She started laughing. She got dressed and we went up on the roof. We just talked about what would happen if we were forced to split. Then things went wrong. I had to run Bella out if there. I had farted. It's a humanly thing, but when vampires do it, it's more deadly.
I pulled Bella of the roof then I ran out to her forest and screamed "Hey forest! Suck this! I'm a fricking wolf! Howl howl hhhhhoooooowwwwlllllll!!!!!' Then the forest got super jealous. I could tell. No worry, I knew that the forest was depressed. Funny right? YEA!
"Edward! The forest has sensitive feelings! Get back here!" Bella yelled. I wouldn't go back there if you know what I mean.
I eat dinner with them and maybe their dog... Then I left to go home. I checked dad's bedroom and I saw him pouting. I made him stop. I made him sit up striaght and put a smile on those fangs. I got to paint them on! It's my favorite thing being a vampire. I can paint on my poppy's teeth!
I went to go check in on mom and she was okay. Of course sleeping though. That lazy son of a dolphin! Ugh! I woke mom up and told her that it's time she should start making dinner. I don't know how to. Oh well. I'm also to lazy to. So I made sure to keep mom's spot warm and keep Mary busy so, I slept and made Mary feed me, get me water, and find channels on the TV. I'm such a good brother and son.
All the sudden, I felt like someone was watching me so I turned around to bite the person. I turned around to see my worst friend ever! Jasper. He took me and ran with me somewhere. ALll the sudden I was in a beauitful hotel. I went upstiars because it sounded like something bad was happening. I see Bella being tosed around. "Bella no!'' Then Jasper started beating her up. Then he bit her.
Apperantly my stalker dad followed me. "Son! go suck out the poison from her arm!'' I ran over and sucked out most of her yummy blood. It was every fizzy espically since she was all shuck up. Yummy! Later she got a cast on her leg. What a wimp. Ugh. Then we went and danced. Oops. Farted. Moving the location. Ahh better. We danced till dawn.
End note: Ok so this would be the end of Twilight. Next is New Moon which I will start NEXT Monday. Sorry for the delay but I'm going away for the week. See y'all next Monday!
