Peeta Mellark- What is left?

Leaving myself behind.

I remember when I woke on the day of the reaping. I remember walking in the heat in my best clothes. I remember hearing my name fall out of Effie Trinket's purple lips and into the microphone. I just want to forget it all like when you sleep but I am forever more falling into nightmares that remind of the past.

I wake up after a terrible nightmare forces me to open my eyes. I dreamt of Cato and the rest of my 'allies' in the first few days of the games. I see memories of how they slowely got killed off each day by the forest.

I look around the room a have been left in, after blacking out in Snow's office, the thought sends a shiver down my spine. I look up to see a large window that pears out in to a forest with tall trees and green leaves. It's the forest! The one I spent days in during the Games! I jolt backwards due at my discovery but I am stopped by the back of my chair. I look at my self in the reflection of the window to see I am sat on what looks like a bed but it has the back of a chair. My ankles have cuffs around them that link together. My hands are led on the arm rests with metal clamps around my wrists but even though my hands are restricted they still shake; I ball my hand up into a fist to stop my fingertips from quivering. 

I look back to my faint reflection, trying to ignore the forest, to see I am fully dressed in a white suit. My collar sticks up into my kneck and is pointed with gold tips. My face is made up with make up that is thick enough to cover my deep purple dark circles. 

I decide to quickly glance into the forest to see Katniss sat before me through the window! I lean forward as far as I can just to see her face. She looks tired and upset. She has scabs on her knuckles that are black with red rings around them. Tears spill out of her eyes but she never looks to me. 

"Katniss" I yell "It's okay, I'm here! Don't cry!"

She doesn't even move, she just swipes her eyes but more tears run down her face. She lets out a scream that rings in my ears. 

"I'm right here! Look at me!" I scream back but she just puts her head in her hands

I can feel my eyes welling up but I force the tears back. She looks up at me, her eyes are now puffy from crying, she doesn't say my name like I desperatley want her to. She looks down at her scabs and starts to rub at them so they are forced off her hands.

Why is she crying? I want to get up to go to her and hug her tight! I want to make her feel better!

I pull on the cuffs but they don't move so I try to yank my hands through the clamps but it's too painful. I look up at Katniss who cries and cries. I pull again, forcing my hands through the clamps. I can feel the bones giving way as my hands slip out.

I immediatly stand and run as fast as I can with my feet shackled together. I push my hand against window but Katniss still doesn't stop crying. I begin to slam my fist against the glass until I can feel bruises forming. I carry on punching the glass, longing for it to shatter so I can run to Katniss. I want to pick her up and hold her close.

Suddenly, the glass breaks into a million pieces so I put my hand out to Katniss but somethings wrong. Her image begins to blur and warp so I rub my eyes, spreading blood from my now cut hands onto my face. Katniss' body freezes and then the window turns black. I push through more glass and touch the black, thinking I could fall through but all I feel is a soft sheet! I place both hands on the sheet and pull on it

"KATNISS COME BACK! I NEED YOU" I yell at the screen as a begin to rip it.

I am found by Haymitch and a team of doctors shortly later. They stop and stare as I pull the sheet to my face

"Katniss..Katniss..Katniss" I whisper to myself over and over again. Haymitch comes up behind me and rubs my back

"It was just a video of her in the arena, Peeta. We needed to see your reaction to help with your treatment." He tries to pull the piece of the screen away from my face but I grip it tighter.