Peeta Mellark- What is left?

If you loved me...

I stand still for a moment while the alarms ring. It's only me? This has never happened before! 
As I'm about to turn to run to the next car, a man in white walks but doesn't notice I'm there until he looks up from the clipboard that he carries. I don't know what to do so I just stand there and wait for him to grab me but he just drops his board and runs out the way he came. 
I walk over to the clipboard and begin to read the words on the page. 
"Patient 12, Peeta Mellark. He is  currently physically unstable, leading to strange sleep patterns. He is restless when he sleeps and when drugs are used. He speaks in his sleep and attempts to move leading to harming peers. He often fights against restraints but quickly grows tired." 
This information doesn't shock me at all because I know that all this is true. 
"Patient 12b, Katniss Everdeen. She is physically and mentally stable with regular sleeping patterns but often wakes claiming to have nightmares. She doesn't speak about what she sees."
Of course she won't talk about her bad dreams! I try not to mention mine but I know they can tell from when I scream.
"Patients 12 and 12b are now confirmed to know of each others well being but during the meeting Patient 12b had to be held down by security while Patient 12 was restrained using common straps across the bed, straight jacket, the impulse machine and the Speach and Sound Grip. Both 12 and 12b resisted help so they were separated. 12b was removed from the room and taken to her assigned car. Sedatives were later used on 12b as she developed hysteria. Patient 12 was also removed and taken to his assigned room where his burns were treated. The mouth piece of the Grip was removed momentarily so doctors could make notes on what he said but the mouth piece was soon used again to stop 12 from screaming.  Sedatives were used as 12 became increasly distressed.  During, the time he was alseep, every restraint was removed except the Speach and Sound grip. Primrose Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne visited 12 but were later removed due to 12's reaction. When they entered, 12 was quick to react and punched Primrose on the foredhead. In an attempt to defend Primrose, Gale cornered 12 to the corner but 12 took a sedative needle and pushed it into Gale's arm, as a method of defence."
I can't believe that last part! How did I manage to do all that in my sleep? 
Before I can think of an answer the car door slides open and 4 men in white stand infront of me. I drop the clipboard and run the other way but 4 new men enter, one holds the SSG (speach and sound grip). They surround me and start to come closer. 2 take my arms and force me to my knees as the one holding the cage, approaches.
"STOP!" I suprise the doctors and myself with my scream! "STOP!" I decide to lower my voice this time. "I wasn't trying to run away, I just wanted to go outside!" But the man continues to come closer, opening the cage. I don't know what to do now! "Please, the whole time I've been a victor, all that's happened to me is experiments!" The masked man wraps the cage around my head but this time I do not scream out for help. I just give up hope and let them fix it on. They keep the mouth piece out for a minute while they ask each other if it's fixed right. "Please, I'm begging you! I'll go back to my room and you can do what ever you want to me but please take it off!" The man sighs and just makes it tighter around me head. The hooks and wires stab into my skin but all I do is let the tears run down my face. He shoves the plastic into my mouth to silence me.
The 2 men holding me suddenly let go and back away, thinking I'll jump up to attack but I just stay on my knees and wait for them to pull me back to my room. But nothing happens. I attempt to move and look around to see what's happening.
The men begin to clap slowly and lower their masks, revealing smile. I'm so confused but then Haymitch walks into view.
"Good job, kid" He says putting his thumbs up at me. I can't say anything so I just look at him in confusion. "Your treatment is finally taking its toll! He laughs but he still doesn't explain. I raise to my feet  with the wires still wrapped around my head; I must look like a freak. Cinna, Effie, Primrose and Gale all walk in clapping. They still look concerned at the cage but then they smile. What's happening? Doctor Enzel walks in and comes up to me so I try back away but I fall to the floor, making the cage tighten.
"Arghh!" I cry as I try to reposition the wires. Enzel pulls me to my feet with smile.
"Well done, Peeta!" He says but stops when he sees the confusion on my face "You passed! These men are the ones from the arena but you didn't fight them. You just let them put the Grip on you even though you hate it so much!" 
It was a test? I wasn't actually being chased by these men? I'm still confused when everyone starts to exit, leaving me and Haymitch. 
"We now know the harsh treatment is working on you" He says when everyones left but he makes no attempt to take the cage off my head. "Snow wants to congratulate you!" At the sound of his name I almost fall over again but I grab the wall for support. 
"I donff wan too seef Snoff" I gargle through the cage but Haymitch still doesn't take it off!
"He's on his way now. Peeta, I'll be stood outside. I won't let them get out the impulse machine. I promise" He reasures me but it doesn't help.
"Noff mow!" I worry but Haymitch pulls up and chair and pushes me into it.
"Yes now!" He answers "Don't move or you'll be right where you started" He says as he walks out. I wait a few minutes before trying to take the cage off but Haymitch's voice rings in my ear
"Don't even think about it" He yells but I dont see him "There's speakers in the ear screws so if you don't my voice constantly, I suggest you leave it alone" He says firmly so I drop my hands to my sides. 
Snow walks in a few minutes later but Katniss is at his side; she looks unharmed. She stares at me in the cage so I stand so I can run to her but one of Snow's guards pushes the top of the cage down onto my head, forcing me to sit.
"Well done, Mr Mellark!" He speaks with a slightly higher voice "You completed your first test successfully so I have brought Miss Everdeen for you" He looks up at her and then ushers her towards me. She walks quickly and then kneels down next to me, looking into my eyes. She looks up to Snow who nods, giving her permission to let me go. She pushes the button and the cage opens. She kicks it across the room, banishing it forever. 
"Peeta?" She thinks I can't talk.
"Hello" Is all I can say but she sighs with relief. We both stand and hold each other close and I would have never let her go if Snow hadn't coughed for attention.
"I've seen your next stage of treatment which continues this afternoon. If you cooperate, I want kill anyone, yet" I nod at him and then turn to Katniss.
"I'd though I'd lost you" She says, remembering what happened yesterday.
"You can't get rid of me that easily" I say which makes her laugh. I missed that laugh but Snow grunts after a few minutes.
"It's time to go to your next session, Mr Mellark" He reminds me but I don't want to let go of Katniss but the guards sits me back down and picks up the cage.
"Please don't put that back on him!" Katniss says looking over at Snow.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine" I reasure her but she doesn't look convinced
"Why do you have to wear it?" Shes asks but Snow answers before I can.
"He's very restless boy, Miss Everdeen. He seems to have become violent while he sleeps" Katniss looks up to my but I just shrug my shoulders.
I hold her and while the guard puts the metal cage around my head and puts everything in place.
"I would kiss you if I could" I say just as the plastic moves into my mouth. She smiles at me while the hooks lifts my eyelids.
"Il beeh alwite" I say quietly and she nods and exits with Snow. 
I'm walked back to my room with Haymitch while he explains what's next.
"We want to try something on you" He says firmly. "You always fall into a trance when ever you think about her." I'm actually thinking about her now. That tear rolling down her face was so small. She barely ever cries.
"Peeta!" Haymitch calls but I dont answer. "PEETA!" He yells but this time he hits the side of the cage.
"Argh!" I complain, just noticing he was talking to me. 
We stand outside the door of my room while he enters the passcode. We enter but all the doctors seem to already be setting up.
"As I was saying, this next test is going to effect others more than yourself" He continues.
"Whaff?" I try to speak but he just sighs and takes the mouth piece out.
"We're going to show you lots of pictures and videos of Katniss and then give you a large dosing a drug  called Concussed. It will momentarily make you forget everything about Katniss" He explains.
"Wait! You're doing that to me!" I begin to get worried; I don't ever want to forget Katniss!
"Like I said when you think about her you kinda get lost in thought and stop functioning."
"No! I don't!" I try to defend myself but he just stares at me with a frown.
"What did I say when we were in the corridor?"
"You said Katniss!" Wait! He didn't say Katniss's name once! "Sorry, I meant to say, that you were talking about Katniss!" What? Why can't I say anything else but Katniss? 
"What was I saying about Katniss?" He asks, I know he's trying to prove himself right but he's very good at it.
"You were saying that Katniss is..umm.." I can't finsh that sentence, my words won't fit at all.
"I told you!" He laughs at me but I frown and turn away but doctor Enzel is stood behind me taking notes. I step back a bit expecting him to shove the mouth piece back in between my teeth but he doesn't
"Interesting.." He mumbles to himself and then looks up to see me staring. "What were you and Haymitch talking about earlier, Peeta?" He asks but I instantly know the answer.
"Katniss!" Again, why did I say that!? I try to cover my mouth in shock but I bash my hand into the cage, loosing my balance and falling to the floor. Haymitch and all the doctors crowd around me as I lay there. 
"He seems to think about her a lot" Haymitch laughs but doesn't help me up.
"I think we need to start" Enzel confirms so all the doctor take their positions as I am lifted onto the bed. 
Enzel pulls Haymitch to the side and talks so quietly that I can't hear them through the screws. They watch as I try to look around, my hands twitch but I know I shouldn't resist doing the experiment. I'm about to stand up and ask to be let out of the room but Haymitch takes my shoulders.
"Enzel thinks your condition is slightly more major than expected" He pushed the button that releases the cage from around me. He takes it off and hands it to a doctor.
"Haymitch, can't we do this another time?" I desperatley try to sit up but Haymitch keeps a firm grip on me. 
"We need to start this now for it to work in time for the tour." He says calmly but I'd forgotten about the tour until that moment. My hands twitch frantically so I clench them into fist to stop the doctors seeing I'm scared but Haymitch knows. "We've got to stop that twitch, I'll look into it" But I don't want him to! Who knows what he'll do make it stop.
The cage is handed back to Haymitch but it looks different. 
"Enzel noticed that you could still talk through the mouth piece so he's made it bigger for you!" 
Why? It was bad enough as it was! "He doesn't want to use the straight jacket because it ditressed you too much last time" He is handed another metal cage but this is different aswell! "This stops you from moving your shoulders and neck"
"Haymitch, the head piece was bad enough! I'll sit still, I promise!" I plead him but Enzel sees and comes to calm me down.
"Don't worry, Peeta is won't be that painful. You've been so good recently, please don't ruin it now" He takes the metal cages off Haymitch and starts to explain how they work, like he did with the head piece. "It covers your neck to your waist so you have look forward" His words are harsh. "It opens like a jacket and seals down the back." He opens it and gestures for me to lean forward but I stay put but he sighs and nods at Haymitch who pushes me forward. Enzel starts with the the main body part. It opens and grips to my shoulders so I can only turn my head. I look up to Haymitch.
"You're fine, Peeta" he says but I'm not fine. Once the the back is sealed Enzel picks up the part. It looks like what someone would wear if they broke their neck but made of metal wiring. Enzel clips it in place so my body is frozen; I can only look forward. When the new head piece is secured with the extra large mouth piece pushing down my throat, I hear the door open. Snow walks around my bed with Katniss and his grand daughter following him. Katniss runs to my side when she's sees what Haymitch has done.
"What are you doing to him?" She screams as she pulls on the wires.
"AHHH" Is all I can get out through the cage, but it makes her stop pulling. She holds my head forward gently trying to find the buttons to undo it but Haymitch slaps her hand.
"Don't Katniss, you're freaking him out!" Haymitch argues but it's actually him and Enzel who are scaring me with all these new torture devices.
"Grandad, why is Peeta wearing that?" I see Snow's grand daughter pull on his arm. 
Snow doesn't talk but he smiles and come so close he's only inches away from my face.
"Very good, Doctor" He grins at me through the wires. "Come along, Miss Everdeen. Mr Mellark is busy at the moment.
"I'm staying." She protests. Enzel suddenly speaks up.
"It could work with her here" 
"Then be my guest" Snow says no more with his grand daughter trailing after him out the door.