Stenbrough Nights

|Shot 81| • Time III • |Stenbrough|

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STAN'S POV

"Is it going to be weird seeing them again?" I asked looking at Bill.

He licked his lips and smiled as he looked at me.

"No" he answered docilely, but there was something in his eyes that suggested he was mulling something over.

"We don't have to see them today if you don't want to" I said, but Bill stopped walking.

He was still holding my hand, which caused me to pause in front of him as he stood still.

"Is everything okay, Bill?" I moved closer to him.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his perfect lips but his eyes still looked distracted. He slowly placed his hand gently on my cheek and I gently held onto it.

"Bill?" I questioned softly.

"D-Do you love m-me, Stan?" he asked mournfully.

"What kind of question is that?" I said taken aback, furrowing my eyebrows. "Of course I fucking love you"

"I'm suh-sorry, Stan, I just...the w-way I left you...n-no calls, no letters, nuh-nothing, I-"

"Stop it"

"-I juh-just don't see how you c-could still love muh-me after that, after everything. Even b-before I never understood h-how you could fall in l-love with Stuttering Bill, that asshole D-Denbrough kid that n-nearly got the Losers k-killed, I-"

I smashed my lips onto his and squeezed my eyes shut. He kissed back mournfully while I was pissed off. Not necessarily at him, but at everything that made him feel worthless.

"Bill, stop talking about yourself that way. I'm tired of you thinking you're worthless or undeserving of love. You know who's an asshole? Your parents. The homophobes in Derry. Henry Bowers, those are the assholes. You're not. Do you have any fucking idea how much I love you? I can't breathe without you, Bill, I can't sleep without you. I waited for you every day. Yeah I'm a little pissed you didn't call or write but Goddammit, I would've waited as long as it took because I can't even imagine you not being in my life, Bill. I can't, and I don't want to, ever. Please, please don't think you're undeserving of love because you are, you fucking deserve the world and the Losers and I love you so much"

I hadn't realized until Bill shuddered and ran his thumbs across my cheeks that I was crying. Tears were streaming down his eyes as well and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips before pulling me into his chest.

"I'm suh-sorry, Stan" he whispered into my hair as he rested his head on top of mine. "I'm suh-suh-so sorry, Stan. I d-didn't call or write b-because I didn't kn-know if I'd ever c-come back to D-Derry, I knew you deserved so muh-much better and I c-couldn't have you w-wait for me. I guess that does muh-make me an asshole...but I puh-promise, I won't ever do that again. I'm never leaving you again, Stan. I puh-promise. I love you so m-much, Stanny. It was h-hell without you"

I hugged him tighter and leaned to kiss his soft lips.

"I'm never letting you go again, Bill. Now c'mon, there's people dying to see you again"