Dude, I love you

Chapter Nine

Jack Gilinsky’s POV

JJ didn’t come to school today, I looked for him but there wasn’t any sign that he was attending his other classes. I asked Rochelle if she seen him in some of the classes she had with him, she didn’t. Rochelle looked like she was ready to cry after I asked her. I told her to calm down and that it wasn’t her fault, he was just still feeling under the weather. The hospital did release him after all. She accepted my words and returned to her normal sassy self afterwards.

Justin seemed put off when I voted to sit with Rochelle and a few of her friends at lunch. I told him I would see him later and continued walking past him with her group. Justin was too vague when I asked what happened between him and Jack yesterday. His answer didn’t leave me feeling satisfied with the whole situation. JJ wouldn’t just blow up like that, blow up on me if there wasn’t some real reason.

After school was done, Justin was waiting for me by my locker.

“Hey.” I greet him pretending to be occupied with my notes and opening my locker.

“Hey, I just wanted to talk about what happened yesterday.” He says obviously feeling awkward.

“Oh, yeah? What about it?” I ask putting my binder away and grabbing my bag.

“Uh, all I really said to him yesterday was that you know, Rochelle’s team had scored the first point after the ball to the face bit and they ended up winning. I think he took it the wrong way.” He states sounding legitimately sincere.

“Oh, that’s it?” I question. Would Jack really get that mad? Maybe he misunderstood.

“Yeah, I think he might be a bit jealous, you know? I mean you guys have been friends for a long time and now you’re hanging with us all the time. I honestly don’t think he likes me that much.” Justin says sheepishly.

“Makes sense, I’m not purposely ignoring him but whenever I try to bring him around you and the guys he ditches out or just avoids me.” I confide.

“Well, that’s his choice I guess. Have you talked to him about it?” Justin asks as we start walking towards the back doors of the school.

“No. When I bring it up he wants to drop the subject or changes it.” I say. I’m starting to get this sinking feeling in my chest.

“To me it sounds like he doesn’t really want to be your friend or at least not a very good one.” Justin says in a guarded manner. I hate to admit it but he’s making sense.

I didn’t reply to him, I became lost in thought and we continued to walk in silence until we walked out the back doors.

Justin put a hand on my shoulder. “Well at least you got me bro.” and with that he walked around the corner to head back in the other direction.  

He lived in the other direction but sometimes I would walk with him to the front doors and sometimes he would do the same for me by walking to the back doors.

I walked home with this sinking feeling in my chest and felt a huge weight on my shoulders, slowly getting heavier with each step. I really needed to talk to JJ. What if he really is tired of putting up with me? I thought yesterday was going pretty good before lunch, maybe I was just reading into it too much.

* * *

I had hopelessly attempted to get my homework done after I ate supper, tried and failed. I couldn’t take my mind off what Justin said. It made me think of all the times me and JJ had argued before, big and small and how JJ was the one who apologized first most of the time even if he was right. I was beginning to believe he was getting tired of me. I mean he had a good reason to. I needed to ask him and get a straight answer.

Me: JJ – Delivered.

Me: are we still friends? – Delivered.

I waited patiently with my phone in my hand as I walked about the house trying to keep busy, but he didn’t reply.

Over an hour later he finally replied.

Jaack: idk.

Jaack: im busy ttyl.

It’s true, he is tired of me. I needed to lie down. This feeling in my chest is too much. Sighing I typed back:

Me: K… ttyl. – Delivered. – Read.

It changed to ‘Read’ almost as it was delivered. He was still on his phone. Maybe he wanted to break it off sooner and just didn’t know how. I mean it’s not like you can go up to a guy and say ‘hey I don’t want to be your friend anymore’ and just walk off like it’s a simple act.

I honestly never thought of life without JJ in it. We had history, we were going to graduate together, go to college together, live together, party together and be each other’s best man.  When did he decide that’s not what he wanted anymore?

I felt heartbroken and all I really wanted to do was hug him and not let go hoping it would will him to stay by my side. I already knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.