One is at the highest level of the hierarchy and the other is at the lowest; yet, nothing is what they seemed to be and nothing is absolute. Trust in the calling of heart for it knew what to do, when the time comes.
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Qing stayed awake long after Dayu had fallen asleep. He watched Dayu, with such bittersweet longing and emotions, as Dayu laid in his arms, a sleeping.
Both of them achieved climax only once, but Qing took his time really making love to Dayu that it still took them almost two hours to reach the peak.
Qing kissed every part of Dayu's body while whispering his love. Dayu responded to Qing's kisses and touch but he didn't respond to Qing's words.
And it hurt; it really hurt, when Qing didn't hear Dayu's voice responding to his words. It hurt, making love to Dayu, and telling him that he loved him, knowing that Dayu probably didn't believe it. It also hurt when he knew that Dayu loved him but he wouldn't tell Qing he loved him any more.
It hurt. But, Qing's willing to face the hurt. He's willing to endure the pain. As long as Dayu stayed with him.
Qing kissed Dayu on his forehead, and held him even closer. Dayu's breathing and heartbeat; was like music and food to Qing's senses.
Only at times like this; that Qing was able to see Dayu like he used to be before Dayu lost trust in him. How he wished he could turn back time, but alas he couldn't.
Qing could understand, Dayu's feelings and why he's acting this way. And he's thankful enough, for the fact that Dayu didn't left him for real. Because if he really wanted to, Dayu could have left him anytime and go anywhere, to a place where Qing could never find him. The fact that Dayu went to the one place that he knew Qing was aware of; was a little consolation for Qing. It meant that despite Dayu's hurt, he truly didn't think of leaving his side.
And Qing also took solace in knowing that Dayu still loved him, even though Dayu didn't believe a word of what Qing was telling him; he admitted that he still loved Qing.
That's why, tonight; even though Qing wanted Dayu more than all the times before, because he had been 'Dayu deprived' for days; Qing didn't let his mind got clouded by his passion and desire.
Qing kissed Dayu, with mix touches and kisses; going from so deep and intensely passionate to so deep and ever so tenderly. For the first time in his life, Qing was really holding himself back and trying his best to please the person he loved with all his might. From the first moment he kissed Dayu to the moment they had their released, Qing put Dayu's need before his own.
Qing wanted Dayu to believe that he wanted Dayu not only because of the need of his body; he wanted Dayu not only on the physical level but more than that.
Qing breathed in deeply; it would take more than just one night of worship, for Dayu to believe that Qing really love him. Qing knew that. It would take more effort than that. And Qing was already making plans in his mind, on what he would do next in his bid to win Dayu's trust back.
Qing kissed Dayu's temple and fell asleep, carrying out the plans he had set up in his mind.
