I Won't Tell You I Love You

chapter seven

"We watch as our young hearts fade"
- Dean Lewis
___________________________

AS ADLEY got dressed, she heard her phone vibrate. Looking over to see who it was, she walked over to it and silenced it.

"You can't avoid him forever, you know." Amara told her sister, appearing in the doorway and leaning on the doorframe.
"Jesus, Ama, you scared me."
"And now you're avoiding what I'm saying." Amara folded her arms against her chest as she spoke. Adley stopped her search for her shorts and looked up at her younger sister.
"I'm not avoiding him," She denied.

"Adley, even Mum can tell you're avoiding him. Anyone with eyes can see it."
"Alright, fine." Adley sighed. "Maybe I am. But can you blame me?"
"The poor kid likes you, Addy. You can't just kiss him and then avoid him like he's the plague. It's been two days."

If only she knew he loves me. Adley thought to herself.

"Help me find my shorts, would you?" Adley asked, ignoring what her sister just said, knowing all too well that she was right. Sighing, Amara walked into her sister's room and rolled her eyes.
"They're literally right here, you idiot."
"Oh. Thanks, Ama. Now shoo." Adley ushered Amara out of her room, closing the door behind her.

_______

Eli walked along the beach, kicking up the sand as he went. Hands in his pockets, he sniffed away the tears that kept forming in his eyes. He kept thinking about all the "what-if"s and "could-have-been"s. Ten. She would have been ten today. He could almost imagine her stood beside him...

"Eli!" Eli spun around as he heard her voice. "Hey, wait for me!"
"Eri?!" Eli ran up to his little sister and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Are you okay, Eli?" Erica looked concerned for her brother.
"I- I thought I'd never see you again." He whispered.
"I'm sorry, Eli. I never meant to make you hurt." Erica looked down at her feet with a sad expression on her face.

"It... it's not your fault, Eri. I- how are you here?" Tears started pouring out of Eli's eyes as he spoke, and he bent down on one knee to match his little sister's height.
"I can't... I can't stay long." Erica told him, quietly beginning to cry. "I want to come back, Eli. I want to stay with you again." By this point, Erica had tears streaming down her eyes, as well as Eli.

"I want you to come back too, Eri. But you- you can't. I'm sorry, Eri. I wish I could turn back time, I really do. Then we'd be together every day. But I- I can't. I'm sorry, Eri." Eli only just managed to get his words out through his tears. "But I... I promise I'll celebrate your birthday like we used to, okay?"
"I... okay. I miss you, Eli."
"I miss you too, Eri. But we'll see each other again one day. I promise you. Now come here." Eli pulled his little sister into a tight hug, holding her close. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight.
"I love you, Eli." Erica said to her brother, still holding onto him.
"I love you too, Eri. So much."

Erica slowly faded away, and Eli opened his eyes to find himself laid down on the sand. He shot up and looked around him, searching for his little sister.

"Erica!" He yelled through fits of sobs, his voice breaking.

Failing to find her, he began frantically running around, until he finally gave up.
It was just a dream. He thought. But it all felt so real. Tears welled in his eyes again, until he saw her.

"Eli!" Adley ran up to him, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"
"She... she was here, Lee." Eli told her through tears.
"Who? Who was here?"
"Eri... Erica."
"What- what do you mean, she was... she was here?"

"I mean exactly that, Lee. She ran up to me. But she knew she was... she knew she was dead. It was weird."
"Oh, Eli." Adley pulled him into a hug, and Eli wrapped his arms around her.

"Where've you been, Lee? I've been calling you since you k-" He hesitated as a sudden realisation hit him. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?"
"Eli, I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake."
"What?" Eli was taken aback, hurt by the words she just spoke.
"I'm sorry, Eli. We're still friends, right?"
"You know what, Lee? You can't just do that." He shook his head as he spoke.
"Do what?" Adley asked, folding her arms in confusion.

"You can't just kiss me, then avoid me, then run up to me and hug me, and then just tell me that you kissing me was a mistake, but then tell me you still want to be friends. Make your mind up, Lee. You either want to kiss me or you want to be friends."
"Eli, I- we have to stay friends, okay?"
"And yet you're the one who kissed me." Eli scoffed, shaking his head. He began to walk off, his anger clear.

"I said it was a mistake!" Adley called after him. He turned around, facing her.
"Yeah. I got that. Now I have go celebrate my dead sister's birthday." With that, he turned around and walked off. Eli was gone, and Adley was left alone on the sand.

_______

Adley stayed on the sand until dark, without realising how late it was or how long she'd been sat there. It wasn't until she saw her brother walk down the path onto the beach towards her that she realised it was dark. Sniffing away the last of her tears, she waited until he got closer.

"Hey, T."
"Have you been crying?" He asked her, concerned.
"What? No... no."
"Ad, your eyes are red, you're sniffing and you keep wiping your eyes. I'm not stupid." Theo sat down beside his sister, putting his arm around her and pulling her towards him.

"Eli?" He asked her. Adley just simply nodded, not looking at her brother.
"He was right, T. Everything he said was right. I'm so stupid." Tears welled in her eyes as she talked.
"You're not stupid, Ad. But I do think you need to let go of that promise of yours. You'll regret it later on in life, I know it."
"I know, T, I just- I don't know." The two just sat there for a while, not talking, just watching the waves in front of them.
"Wanna go back home? It's getting late." Theo asked her after a while.
"You go ahead. I'll be back soon."
"Promise?"

"I promise." Theo gave his sister one last hug and made his way home.

Adley thought about her earlier conversation with Eli, and tears started streaming down her face. And before she knew it, she'd cried herself to sleep.

On the beach.

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