I Won't Tell You I Love You

chapter nineteen

"Did you lose what won't return?
Did you love but never learn?
The fire's out but still it burns"
- The Script
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AS ADLEY sat in her hospital bed, she just stared at Eli. He wasn't looking, so she took the opportunity to just admire him. But then she remembered the conversation they'd had about a week prior. How she'd told him she couldn't love him. No. How she'd shouted at him that she couldn't love him. She remembered how his facial expression changed as those words left her mouth, how he looked so broken and distraught.

Yet he was still here. He was still here, sat by her side, through choice. And although she didn't know how to love him, she loved that about him. He was the sort of person who would stay by your side through anything, no matter what. If he loved someone... he would never leave them. No matter if they'd had an argument and hadn't spoken for a week.

And it was as she was thinking about that that her parents burst through the door to her hospital room, looking out of breath. Adley sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Adley, oh my god." Her mum breathed frantically, running up to her daughter and hugging her. Adley remained silent, waiting for her father to come over to her. He walked up to her, but didn't hug her. Adley rolled her eyes again, muttering to herself.

"Adley, this is the second time this month that you've been admitted to the hospital. Why would you try and..." He began, but couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence - although Adley knew what he was referring to. She still stayed silent, turning away from him and looking out the window. He knelt down beside her then, taking her hand. Adley slowly turned her head back towards him, raising her eyebrows as she waited for him to speak.

"What were you thinking?" He grunted, still staring at Adley.
"You never understood." Adley scoffed under her breath, snatching her hand away from her father and turning back towards the window.
"What was that?" Her father questioned, trying to get his daughter to look at him.

"You never understood!" Adley snapped, jerking her head back towards her father. He was taken aback by this, his eyes widening.
"W-what do you mean, Adley? What don't I understand?" He asked, his voice a mix of sadness, confusion and anger.

"Me. You never understood me. At least... not since Acacia," Adley began, her voice shaking as she held back tears. "You never understood my depression. My PTSD. My anxiety. Depression isn't just feeling a bit sad, Dad. It's so much more than that. You just never cared to ask." She spilled, no longer able to hold back her tears.

She turned to Eli then - who had remained silent - and mouthed to him to call Theo. He excused himself and left the room, walking up and down the corridor.

Adley's father was lost for words. He just stood there, staring at his daughter. Adley couldn't tell if he was angry or upset, but she didn't care. She was mad at him, and he couldn't change her mind. Not now. Her mother was just stood in the corner, not even bothering to get involved. Like always.

"Just leave, Dad. I don't- I don't want to see you. Just go." Adley sighed, turning away from her parents. So that's what he did. Her father left without another word, scoffing and mumbling under his breath as he left the room with his arms folded. He passed a confused looking Theo and Amara in the corridor as he left, not even bothering to greet his children.

"Fuckin' rude bastard," Theo remarked as he entered the hospital room, noticing his mother. "Oh. Hi." He grunted, barely looking her in the eyes. He rushed straight over to Adley, hugging her. He eventually pulled away, letting Amara hug her sister. Eli re-entered the room then, a bottle of water in his hand.

And that's when they heard it. The huge crash, the booming sound of two cars colliding. Theo and Amara raced to the window, getting a full view of the car park below.

"No. No. It- it can't-" Amara stuttered, noticing her dad's car.
"What is it, Ama?" Adley asked her sister, worried.
"It's Dad's car." Theo whispered almost to himself, his voice desperate.

Adley shot up then, wincing from the pain in her lungs. But she didn't care. She had to see for herself. And sure enough, it was her Dad's car. With another car smashed into the side of it. Theo rushed outside then, Amara and their mother following close behind.

"Lee, sit back down. You'll hurt yourself." Eli ushered, his voice soft and sympathetic.
"N-no. I-I have to see this." Adley insisted, rushing out the room still in her hospital gown.

She ran down the corridor and down the stairs until she found herself outside with the others. She was completely out of breath and her lungs stung like hell, but she didn't care. She had to see it.

As Adley ran over to her siblings and mother, Theo grabbed her, pulling her close. They all looked horrified, covering their mouths and crying.

"Ad, don't. Don't go any closer." Theo coaxed, holding his sister tight. Adley tried to break free, but her brother was inevitably stronger than her. He made sure to never let her go, not letting her get any closer. He was resisting the urge to cry, knowing that one of them had to keep the others sane as Eli just watched in shock as Theo held onto Adley, and their mother onto Amara.

Paramedics and doctors were rushing to get Adley's father out of his smoking car, as they took the other driver into the hospital on a stretcher. The next few minutes were a blur as the doctors took Adley's father inside and tried to resuscitate him, the family and Eli close behind them.

"Come on!" Adley could hear the doctors saying as they tried their hardest to get her father to breathe. They tried and tried, the minutes going by as the family began to lose hope. Adley's mother broke from her hold onto Amara to go over to her ex-husband, tears streaming down her face. Theo took his little sister in his arms, keeping both Adley and Amara close to his sides. Eli stood behind them in silence, not wanting to get in the way.

"David..." Adley's mother said to herself as she saw her ex-husband's almost lifeless body on the hospital bed in front of her.
"He's still got no pulse and no heartbeat. We can't shock him." One of the doctors said hopelessly, and Adley knew what that meant. She knew it was no use.

"Do we all agree?" Another doctor said, looking around to the other doctors who all just nodded silently. "Time of death: 5:37pm." Was all Adley heard as she noticed Eli begin to walk off, his head hanging low. She broke away from Theo, who gripped Amara tighter as he watched Adley walk off.

"Eli!" She called out as she ran after him, her face red and her eyes puffy. He spun around, smiling sadly when he saw Adley. She didn't say anything, only threw her arms around him and buried her face into his chest. He was taken aback at first, but eventually hugged her back, snuggling his face into her hair.

"Stay." Adley whispered softly, knowing Eli's plans to leave.
"I- I don't want to intrude. You need to be with your family, Lee." Eli coaxed gently, pulling away from the hug as he put his hands on Adley's shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

Adley only wrapped her arms back around Eli, once again burying her face in his chest.

"But you are my family, Eli."

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