I Won't Tell You I Love You

chapter ten

"Truth be told, I never was yours"
- Panic! At The Disco
_________________________

KYRA dragged Adley out her front door, becoming impatient.

"Hurry up, Ads! We don't want to miss our train." She complained.
"Correction: you don't want to miss the train." Adley retorted, still half asleep. "Remind me again why you're dragging me on this trip?"
"Your birthday's in two days, Ads. Take a guess." Kyra rolled her eyes jokingly, shaking her head at her best friend.
"Ugh. That." Adley said, becoming serious.
"Come on, it'll be fun. At least try to enjoy it."
"Fine. I'll try." Adley said, rolling her eyes. Kyra smiled and carried on walking.

As they walked down the driveway, Adley turned around to see her brother running towards her.

"Don't tell me you're coming too?" Adley raised her eyebrows, giving him a questioning look.
"Don't act like you'd hate it. I'm just coming with you to the train station. Is that allowed?" Theo smirked.
Adley laughed and shook her head. "Of course, you idiot."

The three of them walked in silence, occasionally saying a word or two to each other, until they reached the station.

"See you tomorrow, Ad. I love you." Theo said as he turned to his sister.
"Love you too, T." Adley walked up to her brother, pulling him into a hug.
"Okay, sibling goals." Kyra smiled from the side. Adley shot her a glance, smiling and rolling her eyes.
"Alright, I'll see you later, Theo. Tell Ama I love her."
"Will do. See you tomorrow."

With that, Theo began the walk back home, as Kyra and Adley walked up to the station, sitting down as they waited for their train.

"So, are you going to tell me who you were ringing yesterday?" Kyra turned to Adley with a questioning look.
Sighing, Adley stayed looking ahead, not once facing Kyra. "Eli."
"I'm gonna need more information than that, you bugger." Kyra laughed. Adley turned to her, glaring at her.
"My friend. I think. I don't know."
"Friend, huh?" Kyra smirked, nudging her best friend.

"I fucked up, Ky." Adley sighed, putting her head in her hands.
"Not the first time, eh?"
"Oi you. I'm being serious." Adley said, elbowing Kyra jokingly.
"So am I." Kyra smirked.
"You're a real dick sometimes, you know that, right?" Adley turned away from her best friend, facing the train tracks.
"That's why you love me, Ads," Kyra smiled. "But explain. What do you mean you fucked up?"

Adley looked down at her feet, bawling her hands up into fists. "I mean exactly that. I fucked up."
"How, though?"
"You really want to know?"
"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."

Adley sighed, preparing herself for what she was about to tell Kyra.

"I kissed him, then avoided him, then told him it was a mistake and that we should be friends." She told her, speaking faster than she thought possible.
"Adley. Sophia. Easton." Kyra started, causing Adley to look up and face her. "You're a fucking idiot."
"Believe me, I know."
"Call him."
"I can't. I tried. He didn't answer. He hates me." Adley said, putting her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees.
"You don't know that."

He couldn't, could he? He loves me. Adley thought to herself. Sighing, she looked up at the sky and smacked her legs with both hands.

"I don't want to think about this now. We haven't talked about you since we met up yesterday." Adley sighed, turning to face Kyra.
"That's probably for the best." Kyra scoffed.
"Why?"
"Parents are dicks. Brother's a dick. I'm living with my older brother, Logan, at the moment."
"What happened?"
"Told 'em I was gay," Kyra began, avoiding eye contact with her best friend. "The train's just coming. Get your stuff."

With that, the two girls picked up their bags and waited for the train to approach. Before long, they were on the train waiting to leave. Until Adley stood up. And saw him.

Her breath began to shorten, and her heart started racing. Shaking uncontrollably, Adley sat back down and resisted the urge to throw up. She could feel sweat rolling down her face, dripping down her cheeks. She was unsure of what was going on around her, until Eli's face was lined up with her own, his face a picture of concern.

"Lee, can you hear me?" She heard him saying, but she couldn't get herself to reply. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the words out. She noticed Kyra on the phone and assumed it was Theo, as Kyra kept looking back at her, looking concerned.

"Lee, listen to me. Breathe in, and out. Slowly. Now close your eyes, and imagine your happy place. Picture yourself at your park. Imagine you're there, swinging on the swings, shoes off, wind in your hair," Eli paused for a moment, letting Adley catch up. "Now open your eyes."

Adley did as she was told, still without saying a word.

"What happened, Lee?" Eli asked her.
"I saw you, idiot." Adley gave him a small smile as she spoke.

Before Adley could even tell what was happening, Eli's lips were on hers, his hands cupping her face as he kissed her. She surprised herself when she found herself willingly kissing him back, wrapping her hands around the back of his head, messing up his curly brown hair. She didn't care that there was probably people watching them. That there was probably old people watching in utter disgust. That Kyra was probably eyeing them. She just needed to kiss him.

She just needed him.

Eventually, Adley pulled away, ignoring her best friend's wide eyes staring at her. Their heads were still touching, the two never letting go of each other.

"I was not expecting that." Adley said.
"Can't say this is how I expected my day to turn out, either." Eli returned.
"There's people staring."
"I don't give a damn. Let them stare, Lee. Let them stare."

"Well, he definitely doesn't hate you, Ads." Kyra smirked, walking towards them and pulling her glasses down.

Adley only looked at her and smiled.

I know, Ky. I always knew.

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