Mary Sue Creator!

Roasting My Old Mary Sues (Part One)

When I first started creating ocs, mine were bad too. I'm doing this so that everyone who reads this doesn't feel discouraged when people tell them their ocs could use work. When you're first starting out, yeah, you're really gonna suck, but you can get better, I promise. Just take the suggestions that people give you into mind when you create an oc. If you create an oc without taking the advice of others, you will never improve, and people will never want to roleplay with your characters because of how underdeveloped and cheap they are. 

Anyways, onto the rules of this. I will be putting the profiles of my own ocs up and roasting them, and at the end giving a fixed version of the oc. Let's do it!

Attack On Titan OC Mina: Original Profile

 Name: Mina

Mina... What? She has no last name? That's not normal, right? Aren't people supposed to have last names?

Nickname: Mina

That's just her name again. It's not a nickname.

Age: 26

If this is her age, I already know where this is going...

Gender: Female

Of course, because when I first started making ocs I couldn't play as males because I'm a girl and that wouldn't work... That was pretty stupid of me for only making females. If you make both, you can find a better balance and have a larger range for roleplaying.

Race: Human

I'm surprised I didn't make her a Titan Shifter...

Sexuality: Straight

Because I didn't make any ocs with a sexuality other than straight.

Birthday: November 21st

Because why not.

Zodiac: Scorpio

No.. Really? This was definitely necessary to put on the profile after stating her birthday was November 21st. If people are that interested, they will look it up.

Eye Color: Yellow

Because EDGY.

Likes: Levi, Her friends, Being a leader, Killing people

Woah, Woah, WOAH! Hold on a minute Missy. KILLING PEOPLE?! WHAT?! 

You like Levi? Let me guess, he likes you back because you're just so cool? Also, you have friends? Where? Let's face it hun, you are no leader.

Dislikes: Being talked down to, Titans, Herself

The likes to dislikes ratio is off... The dislikes aren't even that big of a dislike to be put down. Also, putting something like 'herself' next to something as trivial as Titans or being talked down to makes it really hard for people to take her seriously..

Siblings: Unknown

OOOO EDGY

Her current song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrhYhI3L32c&t=0s&index=7&list=PLQgCRIby7RdTDFGCZ9kR9UUor_m3hn3bZ 

Hmm.. Let me just copy and paste this link into google-Oh no oh no it's a nightcore oh god! 

-Angel of Darkness - Nightcore

EDGY

Status: Crushing

On who I wonder..?

Best Traits: Her strength, Her intelligence, Her skill, Her knowledge on Titans, Her heart of steel

Hold on. That's a lot. I make her sound perfect here, don't I? How much do you want to bet she cancels Eren out of whatever fanfiction or roleplay I made?

Worst Traits: She hates herself, She's easily irritated

After listing so many good traits you can't list the bad ones..?

Do they avoid or get along with people?: Avoid

EEEDDGGYYYYY

Best Friend: Levi

How much longer is this profile before I kill myself?

Sensei: Her father

Super Cliche. I bet he's dead too because I'm drowning in edge.

Class: Rogue, Bandit

Soo... How is she best friends with Levi...?

Talents: Titan Killing, Singing

Again, putting something serious next to something trivial. Also, as a bandit who apparently lives outside the walls according to my fanfictions, where does she get the time to sing? As she's killing titans does she just.. SLASH Another one bites the dust.

Dark Secret: She hates herself

Yeah, yeah, we already know this. Moving on.

Skilled at: Pretty much everything she does

Wow. I don't even need to comment on that one.

Catchphrase: "Just die already!"

EEEEEEEEEEDDDDDGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYY

Birthplace: Outside the walls

Why is this necessary? Why can't she just be normal?

Where loyalty lies: Within her bandit group

Again, how does she have ANY kind of relationship with Levi?!

Fears: Unknown

EDGY

Agility 9/10:
Speed 10/10:
Offense 10/10:
Defense: 7/10:
Accuracy 9/10:
People skills 2/10:
Strength 9/10:
Willpower 10/10:
Knowledge 10/10:
Bravery 8/10:
Stamina 9/10:
Health 10/10:

WHAT ARE THESE STATS?!

Transformation Power: None
Team (if any): Bandit Group
Best Moves: Using her own techniques to kill titans with her golden blades

Why does she have golden blades? Gold isn't even as strong as silver or other metals...

Trained With: Her father

We. Already. KNOW THIS.

YES/NO QUESTIONS
Responsible?: Yes
Strong?: Yes
Moral?: Yes and no

EDGY

Reliable?: Kind of
Mature?: Yes
Leader?: Yes
Brave?: Yes
Book Smart?: Yes
Street Smart?: Yes
Charisma?: Yes
Confident?: No
Has Self Restraint?: Most of the time
Short Temper?: Yes
Lazy?: No
Annoying?: No
Too Much Confidence?: No
Thinks before acting?: Yes
Lack of Common Sense?: No

Oh thank god it's over. I was holding back vomiting the entire time. In the next part, I'll be fixing her up and making her a better oc, or at least, a normal one.