"can we talk?"
that was the first thing i said to you when you opened the door.
you nodded and we sat on the porch stairs of your house.
there was tension between us.
you waited patiently though, waited for me to talk.
after a few minutes, i started speaking.
"do you remember four years ago, when we had just started our freshman year and i was having problems with some bad anxiety?"
you nodded.
"do you also remember that there wasn't anything special that was the cause of my anxiety? mom thought it was stress from school but it just kept getting worse."
you looked towards me with a frown adorning your beautiful features. showing me that you were listening intently.
"i didn't tell you but i had also started sleep walking and at first, we didn't think of it as much but then i started opening the lock of the front door in my sleep and mum got scared so she took me to the hospital."
"we went there and the doctor, at first, was just going to prescribe me some medicine for anxiety but then i told him that i was also having some really bad and vivid dreams where i, sometimes, couldn't distinguish between the dream and reality. he became a little skeptic and asked me some other stuff and then told my mum that they were going to do an mri on me just to be sure of something."
i took a deep breath to stabilise my emotions. i had to be strong.
"what did they tell you?"
you asked for the first time in twenty minutes. you held fear and concern in your eyes.
"they said that i had frontotemporal dementia. it's where the temporal lobes of the brain shrink."
after a few moments of compete and utter silence, you asked the question i dreaded the most. one to which i couldn't give you an answer.
"but it's curable though, right?"
that's when all the emotions hit me at once and tears started pouring out of my eyes. you looked at me with the most heartbreaking expression.
tears started filling your eyes too but you didn't let them drop instead you wrapped your arms around me and whispered like you always did as i cried my heart out for the first time after knowing that i was dying.
"it's okay. i'm not going to let anything happen to you."
thank you taehyung, for making me feel better that night.
