things were back to somewhat normal between us.
i didn't hide anything from you anymore and you slept at my house for most of the nights. you never showed any hint of change and acted as if everything was fine.
that nothing was wrong with me.
but you didn't know that sometimes, i could hear you crying in your sleep.
my nightmares had began to cut the line between dreams and reality.
i had tried to run away a few times in my sleep, had pushed you away thinking you were out to kill me and had almost killed myself with a knife.
and when i would wake up, i wouldn't remember anything.
truth be told, i didn't even know if i was even awake at times. if i was dreaming when i wasn't.
it was getting all confusing and so after not properly sleeping for four days, you and mum took me to the hospital.
they gave me a sedative and took me to a room to sleep in and told us that after i wake up, they would do a check up on me again to see the progress.
after a few hours, you and mum entered my room only to find me gone.
the hospital staff was alerted and everyone knew the effects of the sedative should not have worn out this quick. meaning i was still sleeping.
everyone was searching for me but it was you who found me.
on the roof, at the edge of the railing.
you stopped breathing for a second and yelled at me to get down.
inching closer slowly and gradually.
i couldn't hear you though.
somehow you managed to pull me towards you just before i had taken another step towards death.
when i woke up, we were both standing on the roof, you were holding my arms to stabilise me.
you kept asking me if i was okay while tears were streaming down your face.
that was the first time you cried infront me after knowing about my disease and i was so dumbfounded to see you cry that i only nodded in response.
you hugged me tightly and started sobbing.
we remained like that for a few minutes before some of the staff members of the hospital found us and took me back to my room.
you should've just let me die that night, so that it would've ended once and for all.
i don't want to hurt you or mum anymore, taehyung.
