Beat your heart out [Crowen fanfic]

Chapter 14 - Writing's on the wall

Change, we don't like it. We fear it but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth: sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything.

2 months later

📍Paris, Cristina's apartment

Cristina's POV - 18 weeks pregnant

For a few days, I had started to feel alone and scared. Because in recent weeks, I had gained weight, now, you could see my bump and seeing it made me scary as hell. I still didn't know if I'll keep the baby but all these pregnancy things were new for me. Mrs Martin was the only person I knew here and I missed Meredith. I had an appointment this afternoon for an ultrasound and I was going in there alone. I had no more the morning sickness but even if I had a life growing inside of me, I felt empty.

4 hours later

I had just returned home, and I was thinking about the ultrasound. I was the first time that I felt so much emotion. When I saw with my own eyes, the tiny being that was growing in my belly, I was...it was indescribable actually. I decided to go to Mrs Martin's to show her the ultrasound.

📍Paris, Mrs Martin's apartment

I knocked at the door and she opened me.

Mrs Martin - Cristina, I'm happy to see you !

Me - So am I, I...I wanted to show you something.

I took the ultrasound out of my bag and showed her. She was very touched, and so did I. She was like my grandmother or something like that.

Mrs Martin - Are you really sure about the adoption ?

Me - I don't know...

Mrs Martin - I do think you should call Meredith, at least to let her know you're fine. Do it for me.

Me - Okay, I'm going to call her.

So I took my phone and dialled her phone number.

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📍Seattle, Grey-Sloan Memorial hospital

Meredith's POV

When I saw Cristina's face on the screen of my phone, I froze. I couldn't believe she was calling me, after 4 months without news. I took my phone, trembling, and answered.

Me - Cristina ?

Cristina - Mer ?

Me - Is that you ?

Cristina - ...yep.

Me - How could you...why did you do that ?!?!

Cristina - I'm sorry, I'm in Paris, I just needed...some vacation.

Me - Why didn't you tell anyone ?

Cristina - I...I don't know. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I was fine... sorry, I have to go. Don't call me. Bye.

After that, I went straight to see Owen.

I found him at the ER.

Me - Owen !

Owen - Meredith ? I'm a little busy here.

Me - An intern can do it. Come with me.

Owen - Meredith ! Would you just tell me what's going on !

Me - It's Cristina.

Owen - What ?! Is she okay ? Where is she ?

Me - Yeah she call me, just to tell me she was fine. She's in Paris.

Owen - In Paris ? Why ?

Me - She told me that's because she needed vacation. But I don't believe her.

Owen - Neither do I. I'm going to see her.

Me - What ? But you don't even know where she is.

Owen - She is in Paris.

Me - How will you find her? It's a big city. It's like looking for a needle in a thousand haystacks.

Owen - I don't know, but I will find her.

Me - Good luck, let me know.

Owen - Okay, thank you.

And he left.

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📍Paris, Cristina's apartment

Cristina's POV

The truth was,...I hung up because I knew that if I kept talking to Meredith, I would have told her everything. And I didn't want her to know and to tell Owen, he was happy in Chicago with Amelia.

I was lying in my bed, rubbing small circles on my belly, unconsciously, when I felt it. A little tiny baby kick. I put both my hands on my stomach and I felt another. It brought tears to my eyes, it was...an indescribable feeling...pure happiness. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence that I was pregnant for the third time, maybe it was supposed to be like this. At that moment, something happened inside my body. Maybe I can be a mom ?

How do I live? How do I breathe?
When you're not here I'm suffocating
I want to feel love, run through my blood
Tell me is this where I give it all up?
For you I have to risk it all
'Cause the writing's on the wall.