I awoke not even realizing I had fallen asleep in the first place. I looked at the clock it was 6:30am. I sighed softly, my best friend had made me a promise that he would call everyday during summer so we wouldn't lost contact (he's a grade lower then me). He lied...he never calls he's always busy. I try to make plans to hang out with him, but he always makes plans over the ones we make. "I Fucking hate him" I whisper under my breath. My emotions were a mix between anger and sadness. "Why does they do this...why does everyone do this to me Its not fair." There I was talking to myself like I normally did. I sat up and grabbed a hair tie putting my hair up in a bun. "why do I feel so alone all the time" a tear ran down my face and I wiped it away. "No, no crying don't be stupid things like this always happen to you stupid don't cry don't you're used to this...don't Fucking cry." I looked down at my phone. I had gotten a message from him the same person who claimed to be my best friend the same person who had just broken a Fucking promise. I picked up my phone and threw it across the the room. "GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!" Yeah like screaming at my phone was going to do anything to help. Still it felt good to get it out. "better then crying." I quietly whispered to myself. I flopped back down on my bed and pulled the covers over my head. No point in getting up I had nothing to do. I started thinking why does everyone do this to me...my parents my friends...why..then I started thinking. I don't matter. I kept repeating it to myself over and over again. "I do not matter." "I'm just another useless human and one day I'll be just another death." "I have no value I'm not important why does my death matter so much." it doesn't a voice in my head stated it never will matter just die no one would cry I mean think about it after all those broken promises you're worthless you really are. "I know..." I looked down at my floor. "you're right there's no point in my existence..." I accepted death yet I also feared it. I didn't want to be alive yet I didn't want to be dead. there was nothing stopping me though. no feeling of guilt or sadness would linger over me. because no one cared about me. I sighed....I'm better off dead.
